return to content catalog »

"Good Night, Vienna - introduction" by vienna

A short-long story about a middle-aged Jew in 1940 Vienna

Category: Book: 1st Chapter

Tags: WWII, Vienna, conspiracy, novel, first chapter, fiction, historical

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

The reason this chapter ends so abruptly is because I don't quite know what happens next. I'm really wondering if it's enough description.

-

Mordka was pacing between his room and the long mirror in the salon. He wanted to wear his red tie, but was afraid that it might be taken as communist – and with all of Vienna’s underground knowing that he was writing a dissertation on Karl Marx’s novel economics, he was afraid it would be taken more seriously than it would’ve been otherwise. In the slit between the wall and the kitchen door, he could see Frau Keller’s fat wrist flick nimbly as she sliced vegetables for dinner.


“Friedrich, where are you going?” she said. “To throw your money away on chorus girls at the cabaret again?”


“No, mother,” he replied. “I have a business meeting.”


“Oh, even better!” he could hear something clutter to the floor. “You’ve gotten yourself mixed up in something! For all the effort I go through to conceal you here, you could at least have the acumen to not stick your neck out!”


Mordka jumped in front of the mirror already in his coat. He was fitting his black tie around his collar. Sideways, in the mirror, he could see her stoop down to pick up her knife. The motion in her shoulder told of her crossing herself. She was mumbling something.


“Good bye, mother,” he said and pushed his tie into his waistcoat. “I’ll try and be quick.” He bounded for the door.


Frau Keller straightened out and reluctantly watched his back disappear into the doorway. “For the love of God, what posessed her to marry that Jude, if-only-the-earth-would-swallow-him.” The door banged shut after she said it. She clasped her hand over her mouth and, in a thoughtful moment, drew a cross over the door, thinking of him.




Mordka really did get mixed up in something. The short back story of the affair dealt with his childhood best friend Benji Kaufman, who was better at getting mixed up in things than he was at playing poker. He was the only person from the ghetto with whom Mordka kept contact, and he was grateful that Benji never betrayed him to any of his old friends and neighbors – not even to his own family. It was perhaps this that swayed him never to deny a thing to his friend. Alternatively, he always did as Benji said – Benji knew best.


He took a shortcut through a couple of back alleys to reach the borders of his borough. Large middle-class zones such as this were festering with Germans. Blue-eyed Mordka felt his schnozzle and black hair to be quite out of place. However, none of his day-to-day contacts seemed to notice. In fact, he found himself using increasingly negative terms to describe the Jewry, and himself. Benji was waiting for him on the third left turn off Regentsstrasse.


The night was poorly lit. Mordka could see a silhouette, suspicious in its loneliness, leaning against a garbage bin. He quickened his pace. The moon was shining in front of him, lighting his face. Benji recognized him and gave a wave.


Mordka caught up with his friend. “Where are we going?” he whispered.


“A friend’s house. An intelligentsia couple. Very good people.”


“Not Jews?”


“No. Hungarians. The husband was my fellow student of violin at Herr Grunberg’s.”


The men bended over in suppressed giggles at the mention of a vivid childhood memory. “Then you must really share a bond,” Mordka noted.


“Yes. We won’t be the only Jews, I’m afraid to say. But then, you can be caught whenever you’re with me, so another Semite won’t give too much extra weight to the scales. There will be foreigners there. I thought it might be good for you if you still want to send Joachim away. You could find someone at the party that would be willing to smuggle him out for you.”


Mordka nodded. Vienna was cold tonight. He wiped his running nose with his sleeve. “How far is it still?”


“Not far. We’re almost there.”



They dived out of a side alley onto Berlinerstrasse and shuffled hastily. Mordka looked up at the cream-coloured marble plumes clutching onto roof corners like gargoyles. Black curtains were drawn over all the windows. The city seemed dead.


“Are they displacing you out of Leopoldstadt, as they promised?”


“I don’t know. They don’t tell us,” Benji quipped, and suddenly stepped to the side and fell against a door. “This is it.” He tried the handle. “Blood and guts, it’s not opening.”


Mordka whistled under his breath and, pushing his hands into his pockets, twisted around on his feet. “I’d make a kosher joke, but this really isn’t funny.”   Benji rammed the door with his shoulder, but soon gave up. Mordka pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. Benji took out his matchbox. They leaned against the door, backs roly-poly and hungry eyes looking out from under lowered foreheads, like teenagers, and took puffs in turn. The asphalt was black as the Styx.


 


* login or signup to post your review

Category Name: My Thoughts

I did not enjoy the chapter. The chapter was okay. I really enjoyed the chapter.

This section is for overall comments and general ideas. The score should reflect how much you enjoyed the chapter.

Category Name: Character Development

The characters were not credible, interesting or unique. I don’t care about or understand the characters because they were poorly developed. The characters where somewhat credible, interesting and unique. I partially understand their thoughts, feelings, and actions. I somewhat connected with and care about the characters. The characters where credible, interesting and unique. I thoroughly understand their thoughts, feelings and actions. I felt connected with and started to care about the characters.

This is act of bringing a character to life on the page. It is a combination of the author’s description of the character and the character’s dialog, action, and thoughts. Though all characters should be believable, the protagonist and antagonist are usually the most developed characters.

Category Name: The Beginning

The chapter did not introduce a problem. I really don’t want to read the next chapter. The chapter introduces a problem for the protagonist, but I don’t know why it’s important and/or it does not feel like an immediate resolution is needed. I might read the next chapter. The chapter introduced an immediate and important problem for the protagonist. I really want to know what happens in the next chapter.

The first chapter, especially the first sentence, needs to pull a reader into the story and make them crave more.

Category Name: Setting

I don’t know when or where this chapter takes place. The setting was inadequately described or inappropriately used. I know when and where the chapter takes place but I can only vaguely picture it in my mind. The setting did not add to or distract from the chapter. I know when and where the chapter takes place. The setting enhanced the chapter and helped me better understand the characters or plot.

The setting is where a story takes place. The choice of setting and its description helps the story come alive in the mind of the reader. Appropriate setting contributes to the plot and mood of the story.

Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the plot or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the plot or connect with characters in the story. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of ReviewFuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to "ignite creativity." Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Category Name: Dialog

The dialog caused more confusion than clarification about the characters. It was almost impossible to follow. Some of the dialog helped me learn about the characters and revealed new facets of their personalities. I could follow the dialog when paying close attention. The dialog helped me learn about the characters and revealed new facets of their personalities. The dialog flowed well and was easy to follow.

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1. The reason this chapter ends so abruptly is because I don't quite know what happens next. I'm really wondering if it's enough description.

2. -

3. Mordka was pacing between his room and the long mirror in the salon. He wanted to wear his red tie, but was afraid that it might be taken as communist – and with all of Vienna’s underground knowing that he was writing a dissertation on Karl Marx’s novel economics, he was afraid it would be taken more seriously than it would’ve been otherwise. In the slit between the wall and the kitchen door, he could see Frau Keller’s fat wrist flick nimbly as she sliced vegetables for dinner.

4.

5. “Friedrich, where are you going?” she said. “To throw your money away on chorus girls at the cabaret again?”

6.

7. “No, mother,” he replied. “I have a business meeting.”

8.

9. “Oh, even better!” he could hear something clutter to the floor. “You’ve gotten yourself mixed up in something! For all the effort I go through to conceal you here, you could at least have the acumen to not stick your neck out!”

10.

11. Mordka jumped in front of the mirror already in his coat. He was fitting his black tie around his collar. Sideways, in the mirror, he could see her stoop down to pick up her knife. The motion in her shoulder told of her crossing herself. She was mumbling something.

12.

13. “Good bye, mother,” he said and pushed his tie into his waistcoat. “I’ll try and be quick.” He bounded for the door.

14.

15. Frau Keller straightened out and reluctantly watched his back disappear into the doorway. “For the love of God, what posessed her to marry that Jude, if-only-the-earth-would-swallow-him.” The door banged shut after she said it. She clasped her hand over her mouth and, in a thoughtful moment, drew a cross over the door, thinking of him.

16.

17.

18.

19. Mordka really did get mixed up in something. The short back story of the affair dealt with his childhood best friend Benji Kaufman, who was better at getting mixed up in things than he was at playing poker. He was the only person from the ghetto with whom Mordka kept contact, and he was grateful that Benji never betrayed him to any of his old friends and neighbors – not even to his own family. It was perhaps this that swayed him never to deny a thing to his friend. Alternatively, he always did as Benji said – Benji knew best.

20.

21. He took a shortcut through a couple of back alleys to reach the borders of his borough. Large middle-class zones such as this were festering with Germans. Blue-eyed Mordka felt his schnozzle and black hair to be quite out of place. However, none of his day-to-day contacts seemed to notice. In fact, he found himself using increasingly negative terms to describe the Jewry, and himself. Benji was waiting for him on the third left turn off Regentsstrasse.

22.

23. The night was poorly lit. Mordka could see a silhouette, suspicious in its loneliness, leaning against a garbage bin. He quickened his pace. The moon was shining in front of him, lighting his face. Benji recognized him and gave a wave.

24.

25. Mordka caught up with his friend. “Where are we going?” he whispered.

26.

27. “A friend’s house. An intelligentsia couple. Very good people.”

28.

29. “Not Jews?”

30.

31. “No. Hungarians. The husband was my fellow student of violin at Herr Grunberg’s.”

32.

33. The men bended over in suppressed giggles at the mention of a vivid childhood memory. “Then you must really share a bond,” Mordka noted.

34.

35. “Yes. We won’t be the only Jews, I’m afraid to say. But then, you can be caught whenever you’re with me, so another Semite won’t give too much extra weight to the scales. There will be foreigners there. I thought it might be good for you if you still want to send Joachim away. You could find someone at the party that would be willing to smuggle him out for you.”

36.

37. Mordka nodded. Vienna was cold tonight. He wiped his running nose with his sleeve. “How far is it still?”

38.

39. “Not far. We’re almost there.”

40.

41.

42. They dived out of a side alley onto Berlinerstrasse and shuffled hastily. Mordka looked up at the cream-coloured marble plumes clutching onto roof corners like gargoyles. Black curtains were drawn over all the windows. The city seemed dead.

43.

44. “Are they displacing you out of Leopoldstadt, as they promised?”

45.

46. “I don’t know. They don’t tell us,” Benji quipped, and suddenly stepped to the side and fell against a door. “This is it.” He tried the handle. “Blood and guts, it’s not opening.”

47.

48. Mordka whistled under his breath and, pushing his hands into his pockets, twisted around on his feet. “I’d make a kosher joke, but this really isn’t funny.”   Benji rammed the door with his shoulder, but soon gave up. Mordka pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. Benji took out his matchbox. They leaned against the door, backs roly-poly and hungry eyes looking out from under lowered foreheads, like teenagers, and took puffs in turn. The asphalt was black as the Styx.

49.

50.  

51.

Reviews that have been completed within the last 30 days

  • There are no reviews for this item.