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"The Lundari Witch: Diamageen's Shadows: Chapter Nine." by Lundarigirl

This is the ninth chapter of a book that I've finished. It recounts the tale of four heroes--a bounty hunter, an untested warrior, a wandering adventurer, and a slave boy--each on their personal quests. Their paths intersect in the goblin-filled Diamageen Forest where they learn of a threat to their world, and that they might be the only ones to stop it.

Category: Book: 1st Chapter

Tags: Fantasy, Adventure, action, goblins, witch, magic, swords, fiction, young adult

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

Thank you to all who have reviewed my writing. Any advice on saying what I need to say in fewer words would be appericated. Thank you.

In the last chapters, protagonists Tobias, Bree, and Ankinon finally meet sone of the evil goblins of Diamageen Forest. During the ensuing battle, Bree discovers that her sword is the only weapons that can kill goblins. Tobias is hit by a posioned dart, and Ankinon tells Bree that a feather from a rare peacob bird is the only way to save him. Bree finds a whole flock of peacobs in a village of human slaves to the goblins. They refuse to give her a feather out of fear of what their masters will do to them if they do. Only a boy named Adrian is willing to help Bree.

Bree steals a feather, and she and Adrian ride back to Ankinon and Tobias. She applies the feather to Tobias's wound and it begins to heal him. Adrian's hat has fallen off during the ride, revealing that is hair is an unusual shade of blue!

 

Chapter Nine: Ankinon’s Proposal

            “Your name’s Adrian, right?” Ankinon asked the newest member of the group.

            The boy nodded. “Aye.”

            “Glad to meet you. My name’s Ankinon, Bree you know already, and the invalid here is called Tobias. You can call him Tobey if you want. Anyway, you interested in earning some money?”

            “What’s money?”

            Ankinon’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding, right?”

            Adrian shook his head.  “No.”

            Ankinon reached into his pocket and pulled out a doubloon. He tossed it to Adrian. “That’s money. You buy stuff with it.”

            Adrian brushed his long blue bangs out of his face so he could see the coin better. Whatever reception he was going to get when he got home, Bree hoped a haircut would be part of it. He needed one. His hair was more of a mess than Tobias’s was, despite it being several inches shorter. Bree still couldn’t believe that his hair was so blue. It was interesting and she liked it, but it was so unusual. She had never seen hair like that on any living being. Had he dyed it himself, or had the goblins done it as some sort of punishment? She knew if Adrian showed up in Europa with his blue hair, he’d be teased unmercifully. Perhaps the goblins had dyed his hair so he’d be harassed by the jerks in his village. Bree wanted to ask him about his hair, but she didn’t know how without seeming rude.

            Adrian looked up from the doubloon. “Buy? Do you mean barter?”

            “Buy, barter, trade, whatever you want to call it,” Ankinon said. “You can do a lot of it with a lot of those.” He pointed to the doubloon. “I have ten more that I’m willing to give you in exchange for some useful information.”

            Bree didn’t know what Ankinon was trying to pull. He should’ve known when Adrian asked what money was that his people didn’t use it. What use would he have for ten doubloons?

            Adrian handed the coin back to Ankinon. “I’d like to accept your offer, but I can’t. My grandmother will be worried about me, and besides I need to get back and help prepare the tribute.” He knelt next to Bree. “I’ll do what I can to cool my people’s anger towards you, but I wouldn’t recommend going back to the village. The goblins are especially brutal towards strangers. They call it ‘breaking in the new toys.’ Not everyone survives the experience. Lately, they’ve been coming to the village unexpectedly to look for strangers who might be hiding there.” His eyes suddenly shifted to Bree’s arm. “Did you get hurt?”

            Bree followed the boy’s gaze to see what he was talking about. She soon saw a dark blood stain the size of two doubloons on her light blue sleeve. “No. That’s goblin blood. Some of it must’ve got on me last night.”

            Adrian’s eyes went wide. “Goblin blood? How can that be? Goblins don’t bleed.”   

            “Bree stabbed one,” Ankinon said simply as if it was no big deal.

            Adrian’s jaw dropped. “You stabbed one? But that’s not possible. No one can penetrate goblin skin.”

            “She can.” Ankinon cocked his head in Bree’s direction.

            Adrian stared at Bree in astonishment, like she was something larger than life. “Is that true?”

            It was the kind of look Bree thought she was always going to get once she became a hero, but she was caught off guard by it now. Maybe it was because she hadn’t expected it. With Tobias being poisoned, she hadn’t had time to consider the magnitude of what she had done. She had hurt a goblin, something no one had been able to do in Diamageen before. Yet, it didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment. That goblin she had stabbed fought so sloppily and so recklessly that anyone wielding a special blade like hers could’ve beaten him easily. It could hardly be called a victory. Besides, she had felt sick after she had stabbed that goblin. A real warrior wouldn’t feel that way. A real warrior would’ve sliced that brute in two without a second thought. She wasn’t worthy of any praise Adrian or anyone else was going to give her.

            “It’s not really something to brag about,” Bree said.

            “I’d still like to know what happened,” Adrian said. “How were you able to do it?”

            Ankinon spoke up before Bree’s voice could leave her throat. “I’m sure Bree would be happy to tell you, but it’s getting late, and as you said you’ve got things to do, people who are worried about you. Best if you run along home now. We ought to be going ourselves.”

            Adrian did not say anything or move for several moments. Bree could tell by his tense, yet distant expression that he was deep in thought. He was debating, she realized, between going back to his village and staying with her and Ankinon to learn what he wanted to know. Well, as long as he was just standing there, she might as well tell him. It would only take a few seconds to say that the caltic blade was somehow able to wound goblins.

            “Adrian, it was ….” she began.

            Ankinon cut her off. “Nice meeting you. Good luck.” He pulled a linen bandage out of the mare’s saddle bag and handed it to Bree. He told her to use it to bind the paecob feather to Tobias’s wounded shoulder so she wouldn’t have to hold it in place anymore. Then he turned his attention back to Adrian. “You know, if finding out how to kill goblins means so much to you, we’d be happy to divulge that information, provided you divulge a little of your own on the green-skins. Things like where we can go so they can’t find us and what the latest news is concerning them and a group of human strangers who came into Diamageen not too long ago. Fair exchange, don’t you think?”

            It was an exchange that, to Bree, sounded more beneficial for her and Ankinon than it did for Adrian and his people. Bree and her friends could rescue the ambassador and his remaining guards with the information Adrian gave them if it was useful. What good would knowledge about how to kill goblins do the villagers if they had no caltic steel?  She was irked at Ankinon for offering such a deal, especially since Adrian might land in more hot water than he was already in if he took it.

             “Ankinon, there’s a fine line between helpful cunningness and evil craftiness, and you just crossed it,” Bree said.

            Ankinon threw up his hands defensively. “What? We have information he wants, he has information we need if we’re going to save the ambassador party. I don’t see any reason why we can’t do business.”

            “I do. If the goblins find out he helped us, they could brutally punish him. And it would be our fault.”

            “But we need his help.  And anyway, it’s his decision, not yours. Besides, he’s only in trouble if the goblins ever find out that he helped us.” Ankinon turned his attention to Adrian. “What do you say, kid?”

            Adrian blew a long puff of air. His expression was uncertain, and maybe even a little regretful. “Thank you, Bree, for your concern, but I’ll accept your friend’s offer.”


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1. Thank you to all who have reviewed my writing. Any advice on saying what I need to say in fewer words would be appericated. Thank you.

2. In the last chapters, protagonists Tobias, Bree, and Ankinon finally meet sone of the evil goblins of Diamageen Forest. During the ensuing battle, Bree discovers that her sword is the only weapons that can kill goblins. Tobias is hit by a posioned dart, and Ankinon tells Bree that a feather from a rare peacob bird is the only way to save him. Bree finds a whole flock of peacobs in a village of human slaves to the goblins. They refuse to give her a feather out of fear of what their masters will do to them if they do. Only a boy named Adrian is willing to help Bree.

3. Bree steals a feather, and she and Adrian ride back to Ankinon and Tobias. She applies the feather to Tobias's wound and it begins to heal him. Adrian's hat has fallen off during the ride, revealing that is hair is an unusual shade of blue!

4.  

5. Chapter Nine: Ankinon’s Proposal

6.             “Your name’s Adrian, right?” Ankinon asked the newest member of the group.

7.             The boy nodded. “Aye.”

8.             “Glad to meet you. My name’s Ankinon, Bree you know already, and the invalid here is called Tobias. You can call him Tobey if you want. Anyway, you interested in earning some money?”

9.             “What’s money?”

10.             Ankinon’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding, right?”

11.             Adrian shook his head.  “No.”

12.             Ankinon reached into his pocket and pulled out a doubloon. He tossed it to Adrian. “That’s money. You buy stuff with it.”

13.             Adrian brushed his long blue bangs out of his face so he could see the coin better. Whatever reception he was going to get when he got home, Bree hoped a haircut would be part of it. He needed one. His hair was more of a mess than Tobias’s was, despite it being several inches shorter. Bree still couldn’t believe that his hair was so blue. It was interesting and she liked it, but it was so unusual. She had never seen hair like that on any living being. Had he dyed it himself, or had the goblins done it as some sort of punishment? She knew if Adrian showed up in Europa with his blue hair, he’d be teased unmercifully. Perhaps the goblins had dyed his hair so he’d be harassed by the jerks in his village. Bree wanted to ask him about his hair, but she didn’t know how without seeming rude.

14.             Adrian looked up from the doubloon. “Buy? Do you mean barter?”

15.             “Buy, barter, trade, whatever you want to call it,” Ankinon said. “You can do a lot of it with a lot of those.” He pointed to the doubloon. “I have ten more that I’m willing to give you in exchange for some useful information.”

16.             Bree didn’t know what Ankinon was trying to pull. He should’ve known when Adrian asked what money was that his people didn’t use it. What use would he have for ten doubloons?

17.             Adrian handed the coin back to Ankinon. “I’d like to accept your offer, but I can’t. My grandmother will be worried about me, and besides I need to get back and help prepare the tribute.” He knelt next to Bree. “I’ll do what I can to cool my people’s anger towards you, but I wouldn’t recommend going back to the village. The goblins are especially brutal towards strangers. They call it ‘breaking in the new toys.’ Not everyone survives the experience. Lately, they’ve been coming to the village unexpectedly to look for strangers who might be hiding there.” His eyes suddenly shifted to Bree’s arm. “Did you get hurt?”

18.             Bree followed the boy’s gaze to see what he was talking about. She soon saw a dark blood stain the size of two doubloons on her light blue sleeve. “No. That’s goblin blood. Some of it must’ve got on me last night.”

19.             Adrian’s eyes went wide. “Goblin blood? How can that be? Goblins don’t bleed.”   

20.             “Bree stabbed one,” Ankinon said simply as if it was no big deal.

21.             Adrian’s jaw dropped. “You stabbed one? But that’s not possible. No one can penetrate goblin skin.”

22.             “She can.” Ankinon cocked his head in Bree’s direction.

23.             Adrian stared at Bree in astonishment, like she was something larger than life. “Is that true?”

24.             It was the kind of look Bree thought she was always going to get once she became a hero, but she was caught off guard by it now. Maybe it was because she hadn’t expected it. With Tobias being poisoned, she hadn’t had time to consider the magnitude of what she had done. She had hurt a goblin, something no one had been able to do in Diamageen before. Yet, it didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment. That goblin she had stabbed fought so sloppily and so recklessly that anyone wielding a special blade like hers could’ve beaten him easily. It could hardly be called a victory. Besides, she had felt sick after she had stabbed that goblin. A real warrior wouldn’t feel that way. A real warrior would’ve sliced that brute in two without a second thought. She wasn’t worthy of any praise Adrian or anyone else was going to give her.

25.             “It’s not really something to brag about,” Bree said.

26.             “I’d still like to know what happened,” Adrian said. “How were you able to do it?”

27.             Ankinon spoke up before Bree’s voice could leave her throat. “I’m sure Bree would be happy to tell you, but it’s getting late, and as you said you’ve got things to do, people who are worried about you. Best if you run along home now. We ought to be going ourselves.”

28.             Adrian did not say anything or move for several moments. Bree could tell by his tense, yet distant expression that he was deep in thought. He was debating, she realized, between going back to his village and staying with her and Ankinon to learn what he wanted to know. Well, as long as he was just standing there, she might as well tell him. It would only take a few seconds to say that the caltic blade was somehow able to wound goblins.

29.             “Adrian, it was ….” she began.

30.             Ankinon cut her off. “Nice meeting you. Good luck.” He pulled a linen bandage out of the mare’s saddle bag and handed it to Bree. He told her to use it to bind the paecob feather to Tobias’s wounded shoulder so she wouldn’t have to hold it in place anymore. Then he turned his attention back to Adrian. “You know, if finding out how to kill goblins means so much to you, we’d be happy to divulge that information, provided you divulge a little of your own on the green-skins. Things like where we can go so they can’t find us and what the latest news is concerning them and a group of human strangers who came into Diamageen not too long ago. Fair exchange, don’t you think?”

31.             It was an exchange that, to Bree, sounded more beneficial for her and Ankinon than it did for Adrian and his people. Bree and her friends could rescue the ambassador and his remaining guards with the information Adrian gave them if it was useful. What good would knowledge about how to kill goblins do the villagers if they had no caltic steel?  She was irked at Ankinon for offering such a deal, especially since Adrian might land in more hot water than he was already in if he took it.

32.              “Ankinon, there’s a fine line between helpful cunningness and evil craftiness, and you just crossed it,” Bree said.

33.             Ankinon threw up his hands defensively. “What? We have information he wants, he has information we need if we’re going to save the ambassador party. I don’t see any reason why we can’t do business.”

34.             “I do. If the goblins find out he helped us, they could brutally punish him. And it would be our fault.”

35.             “But we need his help.  And anyway, it’s his decision, not yours. Besides, he’s only in trouble if the goblins ever find out that he helped us.” Ankinon turned his attention to Adrian. “What do you say, kid?”

36.             Adrian blew a long puff of air. His expression was uncertain, and maybe even a little regretful. “Thank you, Bree, for your concern, but I’ll accept your friend’s offer.”

37.

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