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"THE SAGA OF FREEDOM AND WIZARD: THE ART OF PROBLEM SOLVING" by wizardwriter

Wizard, a problem solver for Paradise, an outlaw border town, takes on the high paying blackmail case of retrieving a lady's set of jewelry.

Category: Book: 1st Chapter

Tags: fantasy, humor

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

-first point- title change from my original post- seems there was a bit of confusion on 'Case of Recovered Jewelry' as in reader didn't get to the heart of the main plot in the first chapter- well title should change that, and in truth them solving the town's problems could be considered the main plot- the recovered jewelry a sub-plot-

-second point- this story was co-written by a lovely lady on the opposite coast as me, and has joined this site, not so coincidentally she goes by Freedom- we each have our own stories, this just developed from a role playing site we started to get the writing juices flowing when blocked or just for fun


-okay so far story goes- Wizard is a problem solver for Paradise, an outlaw border town.  Being a jack-of-all trades he takes on the job of handling a trio of drunk breeds, and in doing so finds the leader is demon possessed.  By sheer luck he kills the shell and banishes the demon.  Other two are just orcan breeds, but the main concern is, was that the only demon in Paradise, and what was he doing here. After cleaning up the mess Wizard needs a bath, which is where we left him at the end of ch.1-

-all caught up, on to the next chapter, thank you in advance for reading our story, and all advice is welcome, good or bad- I've got a titanium hide, freedom's between bronze and iron (I'm gonna pay for that)- anyway enjoy



Chapter Two:

THE COMMISSION


Sitting in the bath house, just as colorful as the bar, Wizard was relaxing, but couldn't clear his mind. Even though he knew he'd get no answers all those nagging questions on the dead possessed breed floated around in his mind. Of course having chose the spicy water additives his body was tingling, which was more than a little distracting.

He caught the soft sound of bare feet coming up behind him. Wizard doesn't look back as a lass begins giving his shoulders and neck a good rubdown, making concentrating thrice as tough. Once she starts rubbing her way down his chest, concentration is impossible.

“Wizzie.” A lively twinkle in her eye, she gave a slight head bob towards the center of the tub. “You want my special?” She accented the offer by licking her full lips.

“Oh Sindi, you little vixen.” Wizard held up both hands. “A beautiful offer from a beautiful lady indeed, but I have a lot on my mind.”

“I see.” Her smile turned to a frown. “If you want I can fetch one of the younger, prettier lasses.” Long raven-blue hair, brown eyes, and dark complexion, Sindi didn't have the typical look of the women in Paradise. Over thirty, maybe close to forty, she also wasn't the typical age for those in her trade.

“Absolutely not, you're the cream of the crop here.” Wizard flexed his muscles. “Spent all day in the dunes, then a bar fight, and finally having to clean up the mess, I'm beat. Truth, probably be useless to you sweetie, just getting old.”

“Please,” Sindi giggled and blushed, “I tell everyone they're the best, but it's a lie.” She wrinkled her button nose, which showed off a pair of dimples. “Don't lie to you, you're tender, gentle, care about my needs, and take care of us working ladies when we got problems. And you only charge what we can afford, never demanding special favors.”

“We all have to make a living, don't need to make it harder than it is.” He clearly recalled plenty of nights drinking with her, even a handful with them waking up in his room. But specifics, especially those she just mentioned not so clear.

Thinking harder he vaguely recalled an image or two, but not enough to answer questions on the subject. “No promises,” hoping to end the previous conversation Wizard spread his legs, “come join me in the tub we can scrub each other.”

She let out a squeal, and Sindi's barely-there reddish blue silk wrap hit the floor. She jumped in, sloshing a third of the water out of the teak tub. Snapping his fingers Wizard caught the lad's attention, pointed at the water, then held up his mug and wiggled two fingers, as Sindi jabbered the entire time.

No doubt the lad knew what Wizard wanted, but came over to make sure. Would've been a good ploy if he could've stopped drooling and staring at Sindi's lovely and quite large breasts.

Wizard repeated himself, then flicked the end of the lad's nose, which sent him on his way.

“You hear me Wizzie, I love this mixture you chose. So tingly, what's it called?”

“Desert spice.”

“Um-m, sounds hot,” she rubbed her back against Wizard's chest, “and nasty.”

“Hey,” Wizard started washing Sindi's back, “think a lot of folks might like such a mixture.”

Lad came back with the beers and needed to be reminded they could use more hot water. Scrubbing Sindi down his mind cleared and he got to thinking, if a local summoned the hellspawn, this would make sense to Wizard. Even a complete stranger, would be plausible, if he he lived no farther than a week away. But this one came from somewhere more than a month away, and the fellow never asked for anything, just raised hell.

“Um-m,” Sindi giggled, “you're taking a long time with my titties, and probably got cleanest pair in all Paradise. You know I oil them and everything, yep, helps when I shave my parts. Some of the ladies say why bother, men don't care just let 'em get on and off then off, get it? It's a *****'s joke.”

“I get it,” Wizard leaned down and kissed the side of her cheek, “but you're no *****, just a working lady.”

“You know,” Sindi snuggled into Wizard's shoulder, “I could work for you, take care of you. Know I'm not no wife material, but I'd make a good live-in, even give you children if you want.”

“Sweetie,” trying to keep from cupping her titties Wizard held her tight, “you're wife material, but I'm not husband material. Gone so much, no real trade, live in a tiny room in a tavern, or out on the dunes, what kind of life would that be?”

“Pretty good,” Sindi sighed, “considering what else is out there. Jagu is pressuring Crinda into selling me, and you know how that goes.” Arms out to the side she puffed up imitating Jagu. “Listen up *****-ant peasant, oink, oink, what Jagu wants Jagu gets, oink, oink.”

“Won't happen.”

A little sob escaped, and she shook her head. “It's true you don't fight him, or if you do he busts you down til you're copperless, then takes what he wants.”

Holding her tight Wizard let her sob in his shoulder. “Promise, it's not happening as long as I'm alive.”

“Wizard,” barber came in, head down, then looked up, “shave and–” His eyes bugged out, and he swallowed hard. “Oh, got no ider you not be alone. Just give me a holler when you be free.”

Holding Sindi tightly with one arm he waved his other hand. “Come on in Usarq, we've worked up plenty of bubbles now. What do you need?”

“If you insist, but it's what you need. Ah, as in shave and haircut while you're soaking. On Crinda.” The barber held up a pair of scissors. “So, heard about the ruckus earlier, any problems?”

“None I couldn't handle, for now at least.” Wizard ran a hand through his beard. “Guess could use a bit of trimming here and there, but like my beard a full three knuckles long and hair about the same past my shoulders.”

“Can do,” the barber grinned, “and for a bit more could treat both with crushed walnut shells and oil.” He fiddled with his beard. “See, takes the gray or white out, and years off. Ladies like it a lot, on my word.”

“Pass,” Wizard hunched his shoulders, “like the white, besides it helps folks think of me as non-threatening.”

“Ask me,” Sindi chimed in, “I like the white just fine too.” She gave him a long kiss.

“Well,” taking a deep breath Usarq dabbed at his forehead, “I see what you mean.” He chuckled. “But Wizard everyone in Paradise knows you ain't exactly non-threatening.”

“True,” Wizard shrugged, “still gives me a slight advantage when dealing with the unsavory types I cross paths with now and then.”

“Hm-mpf,” the barber jabbed the scissors over his shoulder, “seems that's all we got about the place any more, unsavory good for nothings.” He held up a small vial. “How about silver streaks in your hair, make a fella look wise, and would be a good thing in your trade.”

“Nope,” Wizard shook his head, “decent combing, and a little clipping is all I need. Anything else and most folks won't recognize me around here.”

Barber let it go, and did as Wizard wanted, while the lad ran next door twice to refill Wizard and Sindi's beer, getting one for Usarq too. Wizard gave the barber five silvers for the fine job he did, and three to the lad, making both quite happy.

The pair tried to stall, no doubt waiting for Sindi to get up, and finally Wizard waved them out. Once alone the bathers got out, toweled off and dressed, before heading back to the tavern.

As Wizard bellied up to the bar Sindi gave him a sly wink. “Anytime you want a full treatment let me know.”

“Will lovely lady,” Wizard tipped his hat, “on my word. Drinks are on me, so sweetie, enjoy.”

Crinda topped off his mug. “You look better now.”

“Um-m, and feel better too.” Wizard took a drink of his beer. “Hm-m, looks like my day is turning out just fine. In fact, think I can claim a decent week for a change.”

“You know,” from a black jug with a yellow ‘x’ on it Crinda poured a glass full of viscous red liquid speckled with yellow dots, which kept exploding into little star-bursts, “got a job for you, interested?” He made a sour face and with watering eyes capped the jug and gingerly pushed the glass towards Wizard. “Come on, ain’t like this mess, it’s a decent job.”

Wizard had always been the one to go to when people needed help, more importantly, the kind of help they couldn’t ask the useless constable to do. Paradise wasn’t, and the locals had taken to calling the place an Outlaw’s Paradise, a coastal border town, which neither of the nations seemed to be willing to claim. The standard joke around here was, if there ever were a war over the land, loser would have to take Paradise.

Iagra to the east, a land lush with fertile crops and livestock, Tefar to the west, rich mining country. Except for the salt flats with a lot of hard work Paradise’s main crop was still rocks, and the multitude of mines played out long ago. But having a dock for smuggling and mountains riddled with old mines, along with hidden canyons throughout the foothills, it was indeed an outlaw’s paradise.

“Hm-m,” Wizard looked at the drink, took a sip, then grimaced as the rot gut went down, “whew! Really tops off my eve.” Dabbing at his sweating brow he took a long, cool slug of soothing beer. “You know I’m all ears. Briefly, who and what?”

“Jagu,” Crinda raised a bushy eyebrow, “no demon-had folks, just simple lady trouble.”

“This about Sindi?”

“Huh?” Crinda shook his head, as if clearing out the cobwebs. “Sindi? What about Sindi?”

“She said Jagu was after her indentureship.” Wizard shrugged. “Said he was putting the squeeze on you.”

“Aye, but can handle hiz *****, for now.”

“What does she owe you?” Wizard wagged a finger. “And more importantly what's he offering?”

“Lady with the job, nothing.”

“No, Sindi.” Wizard held up his hands. “This is getting confusing,” he pointed over at the lady, “we've two problems. Let's call them Sindi's, and Lady B, then start with Sindi's. What does she owe you?”

“Ah, let me think.” One eye closed Crinda twirled the end of his beard around a finger.

Wizard knew this to be a tell of him debating to be honest or tweak the numbers a bit. “Real numbers, if you don't mind.”

“Awright, maybe low as five but no higher than ten degas for court fees me done paid.” He waggled his hand. “But, figure in standard usury the law allows we're talking forty, fifty degas, total.”

When he didn't continue Wizard tapped the counter. “Jagu?”

“Oh right,” the eye winked shut again, “right. Think the last figure was a hundred or so, and he wouldn't up me operatin' rights fer the DragOn and ladies upstairs.” He made a face. “But we knows lying snake be jackin' me up soon as me caves.”

“Definitely.” Wizard brought his newly earned riches out, and laid them on the counter. “Can solve both your troubles, I'll buy her indentureship. Twelve there, get you the rest soon as I can.”

“Really, Wiz?” Crinda stacked the coins up. “You ain't packed 'em around long enuff to warm 'em up.”

“Easy come,” Wizard shrugged, “easy go, and two problems solved. Doesn't help Jagu, but he'll get over it, eventually.”

“Tell you what,” stroking his beard he leaned against the counter, “let me finish with Jagu's other lady trouble. Your lady B, then we can talk about the lassie.”

“Hmp-pf,” Wizard had another sip of fyre, “slap him with my uncontrollable body functions incantation, again. Should do the trick.” He drank his beer, thinking, after the third ladies' complaint and third time he hit him with the spell Jagu should’ve wised up and paid the lasses. Plus if they’re willing to take a beating pay them for that too. He said aloud, “Hell, he’s got enough gold to afford it.”

“Aye.” Mouth agape for heartbeats Crinda shook his head if clearing it. “Aye, he’s a rich tradesman for sure.”

“Tradesman my *****!” Wizard grunted, “Jagu’s the biggest thief and extortionist in both nations, just pays others to do his dirty work and keep his name clean.”

“You be right, and like we talked of he gots me under his thumb on more than one matter. We all knows he runs the biggest bawdyhouse here.” Crinda freshened their brews. “But ain’t a paying lass Wiz, she be townsfolk and bein' harassed.”

“No problem,” Wizard jiggled the last of his coins, “I’ll get the transportation set up, which Ravenwood would she prefer Tefar City or Iagr–”

“No Wiz, you ain’t listening, your thought thingie must be screwed up by that hell thingie.” Crinda jabbed a finger in to the counter. “She don’t wanna be movin', and be a true lady.”

“What?” The beer went down wrong, and Wizard sprayed a mouthful on the counter. “You’re joking! I know he’s rich enough to buy Paradise ten thousand times over, but where’s the ***** going to get himself a real lady. Hell, I bet last time the greasy pig took a decent bath my beard was red.”

“Therein lies the problem,” Crinda wiped up the beer, “see lady B ain’t willing.”

“Um-huh,” Wizard pushed his mug forward, for a free one, “got you.”

“Yeah,” Crinda leaned closer, “lady is married to another o’ the richest men in these parts, and doing a favor to Jagu for the other man. Well, things got squared away but Jagu wanted more, and she wouldn’t, but couldn’t–”

“Enough,” Wizard cut him off, “if all I’m going to get is a load of trail muffins and inane line of dribble I’ll go out back and drink with my ***** camel, Stoopid.” He chuckled. “Now let’s start over Crinda, my friend. Lady B, meaning Lady Syren made a deal with Jagu. Probably to bail her husband Lord Aron out of the financial woes he had a while back from losing those five ships to pirates. After he got back on his feet, Jagu had more dirt on Syren and wouldn’t give back whatever she put up as loan surety, right?”

“Good to sees you back to normal.” Shaking his head the gnome scrunched up his face. “But how does you do that?”

“It’s a gift, and a curse.” Wizard was talking about his talent for reading specific thoughts not minds in general. “Now, he’s blackmailed her into his bed, and somehow she managed to survive. Since he’ll never be convicted in court, do you want me to take the pig out? Could be an accident–”

“No,” Crinda’s hands went straight up, then he waved him off, “no, you can’t. She’s no idea where the information is, and don’t want it seein’ the light o’ day, so to speak. She’d like you to break in for a simple jewelry recovery, and if possible find the extra evidence he’s got on her.”

“Which is?”

“I don’t know,” Crinda pursed his lips, “and Lady Syren wouldn’t say. Look Wiz, I owe her for helpin’ me get the DragOn started. It’d be a favor to me, a big favor.” He re-filled the mug, and poured a double glass of Wizard’s favorite spirit, cactus juice with squeezed lime and salted glass rim. “Got a bit more to it.”

“Um-m,” Wizard crossed his arms, “always is.”

“Suppose so,” the barkeep glanced up at the ceiling with a pained look on his face, “but ain't bad. Paper evidence be brought here, but jewelry needs put back in her vault. She made fakes and switched 'em, but can’t get in it. Plus fakes needs busted up, by me only.”

“Got it.” Wizard sighed. “And this has to be done the same night or Jagu could squeal.”

Crinda nods, then grinned. “Ain’t gonna be free, there’s ten thousand degas in it for you, and whatever is in his ***** vault or house for that matter.”

“Ten, before or after your cut?”

“Swear,” Crinda tapped his right fist over his heart twice then kissed it, Wizard knew it was the highest gnomish oath of honor, “not laying a finger on it, that’s what she’ll pay.” He glanced back up at the ceiling. “But, if’n you were to–”

“I don't know.” Wizard cut him off, then stroked his beard, letting Crinda squirm. “Jagu hasn't got to the top of the heap being careless. I'm thinking guards will be lethal, vault best you can find.” He shook his head. “Think I better check into this demon thing better.”

“Nothin' to check out,” Crinda waggled his hand, “a tale or two, by drunks.”

“Really?”

“Aye, but just drunk tales.” Crinda leaned closer, and gave a half-***** stab at whispering. “Been stories by sailors sleepin' one off about the pier, and somethin' be sneakin' about, for who knows what. In the morn a sailor be missin', sometimes a sailor only gots parts missin', important ones.”

“Thugs robbing and pitching their victims in the sea.” Wizard took a drink. “Those cut up, probably woke up and got themselves killed. Why bother knocking them cold and pitching them in the bay if they're already dead, right?”

“Ah,” Crinda scrunched up his face, and made a blessing sign in the air, “me says missin' parts, as in ripped outta 'em, and not found.”

“Right.” Wizard let this new information sink in. “So, how about, they pitch the parts in the water, leave the body where it fell, right?”

“There be more,” he pointed at his eyes, “they see things, unknown violet-reddish creatures, with horns skulkin' about. None get more than a glimpse, and mind you they be drunk.”

“Great,” Wizard massaged his temples, “this means the dead possessed thing wasn't alone here.”

“Don't knows, being them tales ain't new. None be sure o' the date, but all agree be a high moon, dead set full.” Crinda shrugged. “Mighta been only a time or three, just seen by more than one drunk. On the other hand we knows plenty o' sailors come up missin' all the ***** time.”

“By the pier, hm-m.” Wizard knew Crinda hadn't had enough time to reach out to all his considerable sources. But the gnome had a finger on the pulse of Paradise, and besides barkeep skills his talent was in getting answers fast.

Hands clasped together with both forefingers Wizard tapped his lower lip, then arched an eyebrow. “Could be they were on a ship, passing through, because I just can't see Paradise being a preferred destination of demons.”

“Aye, but nobody frets over them missin' or dead. Hell, can't remembers the last time a murder be solved around here.” Crinda waved his hands. “Don't matter, back to Jagu, you in?”

“Coin sounds great,” Wizard scrunched up half his face, “but think I'd be over-reaching taking on such a case by myself.”

A table of drinkers signaled for another round and Crinda left Wizard with his thoughts. Ten thousand shiny gold pieces, and he thought he had it made with the fifteen he earned this eve. What would he do with so much coin? He never kept a record, but would be willing to bet he hadn't made ten thousand degas the last two years.

The other two table of drinkers needed re-fills, and the barkeep took care of them. Wizard knew he'd take the job, because he had no real choice. Looking around at the crazy colored room he enjoyed a chuckle, but swore he'd never give Crinda the job of painting his house, which he now could afford in the near future.

Crinda went over to the coin box, took some papers out and brought them back to Wizard. He pushed the stack of coins Wizard's way, then handed him the top paper. “Sindi's indentureship, it's yours, I'll sign it when you agrees.” He swallowed hard, no doubt at losing profit. “And you got the full commission if–”

“A tenth of it is yours.” Wizard drank down half the cactus juice. “Ah-h, that’s nice.” He didn’t have to be a sage to know it must be important if Crinda was plying him with free drinks, not stepping on the commission, and actually paying him to take the job. “A tenth our total take, if you can get me a full set of both plans, vault models, and info on whatever might be haunting Jagu’s place.”

“Don’t know about haunts, think they’re mere tales,” Crinda slid over some papers, “but pleasure doin’ business wit’ you.”

“Um-m, remains to be seen.” Wizard slipped the papers in his coat. “Alright, need three things from you, my friend. One, don’t want Stoopid becoming a pack animal, I don’t make it you take care of him for me.”

Crinda sighed, but gave him a nod.

Wizard held up a second finger. “Two, give Sindi her paper and tell her she's a freeman now.” He got another nod, then held up a third finger. “Three, you need to stock up on anise spirits.”

“Oh she-et, no ways,” the little fellow hissed like a desert rattler. “Freedom, no ways. You ain’t gettin’ her involved.” Pushing the drinks away from Wizard he shook his fist. “Don’t know Wiz, this seems to be some pretty personal things to the lady, and she probably wants this done discreetly.” He added just above a decent whisper, “And we’re talking her being guild related, a thief.”

“Really,” Wizard tapped his chest with a forefinger, “and what am I?”

“You?” Crinda made a pained face, as if thinking hard. “Ah, you be more o' a problem solver. Aye, that's it.”

“Trust me, Freedom is a problem solver too.” Wizard smiled a purely rotten smile. “A true professional in every aspect, quite possibly the best there is. If I had an exact location and specific object maybe it’d be a one-man job, but I need to search the whole mansion and need another experienced thief, or as you say, problem solver.”

“But her?” A shiver ran through Crinda, and he let out a snort. “Granted, don’t know her well, but never heard discreet mentioned in the same breath as her name. Hell, don’t think any know her real name.”

“Why do you need to?” Wizard shrugged, then took back his beer and sipped it. “Gotta be this way, or lady B can tell me the whole truth, and make me believe it.”

Blowing out an even deeper sigh, and more than a tad reluctant Crinda gave him another nod. “But ain’t fillin’ the shelves wit’ ***** no-sellin’ cough syrup slop, and tell her she’s payin’ for the ***** foul-tastin' stuff.”

* * *




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1. -first point- title change from my original post- seems there was a bit of confusion on 'Case of Recovered Jewelry' as in reader didn't get to the heart of the main plot in the first chapter- well title should change that, and in truth them solving the town's problems could be considered the main plot- the recovered jewelry a sub-plot-

2. -second point- this story was co-written by a lovely lady on the opposite coast as me, and has joined this site, not so coincidentally she goes by Freedom- we each have our own stories, this just developed from a role playing site we started to get the writing juices flowing when blocked or just for fun

3.

4. -okay so far story goes- Wizard is a problem solver for Paradise, an outlaw border town.  Being a jack-of-all trades he takes on the job of handling a trio of drunk breeds, and in doing so finds the leader is demon possessed.  By sheer luck he kills the shell and banishes the demon.  Other two are just orcan breeds, but the main concern is, was that the only demon in Paradise, and what was he doing here. After cleaning up the mess Wizard needs a bath, which is where we left him at the end of ch.1-

5. -all caught up, on to the next chapter, thank you in advance for reading our story, and all advice is welcome, good or bad- I've got a titanium hide, freedom's between bronze and iron (I'm gonna pay for that)- anyway enjoy

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. Chapter Two:

11. THE COMMISSION

12.

13. Sitting in the bath house, just as colorful as the bar, Wizard was relaxing, but couldn't clear his mind. Even though he knew he'd get no answers all those nagging questions on the dead possessed breed floated around in his mind. Of course having chose the spicy water additives his body was tingling, which was more than a little distracting.

14. He caught the soft sound of bare feet coming up behind him. Wizard doesn't look back as a lass begins giving his shoulders and neck a good rubdown, making concentrating thrice as tough. Once she starts rubbing her way down his chest, concentration is impossible.

15. “Wizzie.” A lively twinkle in her eye, she gave a slight head bob towards the center of the tub. “You want my special?” She accented the offer by licking her full lips.

16. “Oh Sindi, you little vixen.” Wizard held up both hands. “A beautiful offer from a beautiful lady indeed, but I have a lot on my mind.”

17. “I see.” Her smile turned to a frown. “If you want I can fetch one of the younger, prettier lasses.” Long raven-blue hair, brown eyes, and dark complexion, Sindi didn't have the typical look of the women in Paradise. Over thirty, maybe close to forty, she also wasn't the typical age for those in her trade.

18. “Absolutely not, you're the cream of the crop here.” Wizard flexed his muscles. “Spent all day in the dunes, then a bar fight, and finally having to clean up the mess, I'm beat. Truth, probably be useless to you sweetie, just getting old.”

19. “Please,” Sindi giggled and blushed, “I tell everyone they're the best, but it's a lie.” She wrinkled her button nose, which showed off a pair of dimples. “Don't lie to you, you're tender, gentle, care about my needs, and take care of us working ladies when we got problems. And you only charge what we can afford, never demanding special favors.”

20. “We all have to make a living, don't need to make it harder than it is.” He clearly recalled plenty of nights drinking with her, even a handful with them waking up in his room. But specifics, especially those she just mentioned not so clear.

21. Thinking harder he vaguely recalled an image or two, but not enough to answer questions on the subject. “No promises,” hoping to end the previous conversation Wizard spread his legs, “come join me in the tub we can scrub each other.”

22. She let out a squeal, and Sindi's barely-there reddish blue silk wrap hit the floor. She jumped in, sloshing a third of the water out of the teak tub. Snapping his fingers Wizard caught the lad's attention, pointed at the water, then held up his mug and wiggled two fingers, as Sindi jabbered the entire time.

23. No doubt the lad knew what Wizard wanted, but came over to make sure. Would've been a good ploy if he could've stopped drooling and staring at Sindi's lovely and quite large breasts.

24. Wizard repeated himself, then flicked the end of the lad's nose, which sent him on his way.

25. “You hear me Wizzie, I love this mixture you chose. So tingly, what's it called?”

26. “Desert spice.”

27. “Um-m, sounds hot,” she rubbed her back against Wizard's chest, “and nasty.”

28. “Hey,” Wizard started washing Sindi's back, “think a lot of folks might like such a mixture.”

29. Lad came back with the beers and needed to be reminded they could use more hot water. Scrubbing Sindi down his mind cleared and he got to thinking, if a local summoned the hellspawn, this would make sense to Wizard. Even a complete stranger, would be plausible, if he he lived no farther than a week away. But this one came from somewhere more than a month away, and the fellow never asked for anything, just raised hell.

30. “Um-m,” Sindi giggled, “you're taking a long time with my titties, and probably got cleanest pair in all Paradise. You know I oil them and everything, yep, helps when I shave my parts. Some of the ladies say why bother, men don't care just let 'em get on and off then off, get it? It's a *****'s joke.”

31. “I get it,” Wizard leaned down and kissed the side of her cheek, “but you're no *****, just a working lady.”

32. “You know,” Sindi snuggled into Wizard's shoulder, “I could work for you, take care of you. Know I'm not no wife material, but I'd make a good live-in, even give you children if you want.”

33. “Sweetie,” trying to keep from cupping her titties Wizard held her tight, “you're wife material, but I'm not husband material. Gone so much, no real trade, live in a tiny room in a tavern, or out on the dunes, what kind of life would that be?”

34. “Pretty good,” Sindi sighed, “considering what else is out there. Jagu is pressuring Crinda into selling me, and you know how that goes.” Arms out to the side she puffed up imitating Jagu. “Listen up *****-ant peasant, oink, oink, what Jagu wants Jagu gets, oink, oink.”

35. “Won't happen.”

36. A little sob escaped, and she shook her head. “It's true you don't fight him, or if you do he busts you down til you're copperless, then takes what he wants.”

37. Holding her tight Wizard let her sob in his shoulder. “Promise, it's not happening as long as I'm alive.”

38. “Wizard,” barber came in, head down, then looked up, “shave and–” His eyes bugged out, and he swallowed hard. “Oh, got no ider you not be alone. Just give me a holler when you be free.”

39. Holding Sindi tightly with one arm he waved his other hand. “Come on in Usarq, we've worked up plenty of bubbles now. What do you need?”

40. “If you insist, but it's what you need. Ah, as in shave and haircut while you're soaking. On Crinda.” The barber held up a pair of scissors. “So, heard about the ruckus earlier, any problems?”

41. “None I couldn't handle, for now at least.” Wizard ran a hand through his beard. “Guess could use a bit of trimming here and there, but like my beard a full three knuckles long and hair about the same past my shoulders.”

42. “Can do,” the barber grinned, “and for a bit more could treat both with crushed walnut shells and oil.” He fiddled with his beard. “See, takes the gray or white out, and years off. Ladies like it a lot, on my word.”

43. “Pass,” Wizard hunched his shoulders, “like the white, besides it helps folks think of me as non-threatening.”

44. “Ask me,” Sindi chimed in, “I like the white just fine too.” She gave him a long kiss.

45. “Well,” taking a deep breath Usarq dabbed at his forehead, “I see what you mean.” He chuckled. “But Wizard everyone in Paradise knows you ain't exactly non-threatening.”

46. “True,” Wizard shrugged, “still gives me a slight advantage when dealing with the unsavory types I cross paths with now and then.”

47. “Hm-mpf,” the barber jabbed the scissors over his shoulder, “seems that's all we got about the place any more, unsavory good for nothings.” He held up a small vial. “How about silver streaks in your hair, make a fella look wise, and would be a good thing in your trade.”

48. “Nope,” Wizard shook his head, “decent combing, and a little clipping is all I need. Anything else and most folks won't recognize me around here.”

49. Barber let it go, and did as Wizard wanted, while the lad ran next door twice to refill Wizard and Sindi's beer, getting one for Usarq too. Wizard gave the barber five silvers for the fine job he did, and three to the lad, making both quite happy.

50. The pair tried to stall, no doubt waiting for Sindi to get up, and finally Wizard waved them out. Once alone the bathers got out, toweled off and dressed, before heading back to the tavern.

51. As Wizard bellied up to the bar Sindi gave him a sly wink. “Anytime you want a full treatment let me know.”

52. “Will lovely lady,” Wizard tipped his hat, “on my word. Drinks are on me, so sweetie, enjoy.”

53. Crinda topped off his mug. “You look better now.”

54. “Um-m, and feel better too.” Wizard took a drink of his beer. “Hm-m, looks like my day is turning out just fine. In fact, think I can claim a decent week for a change.”

55. “You know,” from a black jug with a yellow ‘x’ on it Crinda poured a glass full of viscous red liquid speckled with yellow dots, which kept exploding into little star-bursts, “got a job for you, interested?” He made a sour face and with watering eyes capped the jug and gingerly pushed the glass towards Wizard. “Come on, ain’t like this mess, it’s a decent job.”

56. Wizard had always been the one to go to when people needed help, more importantly, the kind of help they couldn’t ask the useless constable to do. Paradise wasn’t, and the locals had taken to calling the place an Outlaw’s Paradise, a coastal border town, which neither of the nations seemed to be willing to claim. The standard joke around here was, if there ever were a war over the land, loser would have to take Paradise.

57. Iagra to the east, a land lush with fertile crops and livestock, Tefar to the west, rich mining country. Except for the salt flats with a lot of hard work Paradise’s main crop was still rocks, and the multitude of mines played out long ago. But having a dock for smuggling and mountains riddled with old mines, along with hidden canyons throughout the foothills, it was indeed an outlaw’s paradise.

58. “Hm-m,” Wizard looked at the drink, took a sip, then grimaced as the rot gut went down, “whew! Really tops off my eve.” Dabbing at his sweating brow he took a long, cool slug of soothing beer. “You know I’m all ears. Briefly, who and what?”

59. “Jagu,” Crinda raised a bushy eyebrow, “no demon-had folks, just simple lady trouble.”

60. “This about Sindi?”

61. “Huh?” Crinda shook his head, as if clearing out the cobwebs. “Sindi? What about Sindi?”

62. “She said Jagu was after her indentureship.” Wizard shrugged. “Said he was putting the squeeze on you.”

63. “Aye, but can handle hiz *****, for now.”

64. “What does she owe you?” Wizard wagged a finger. “And more importantly what's he offering?”

65. “Lady with the job, nothing.”

66. “No, Sindi.” Wizard held up his hands. “This is getting confusing,” he pointed over at the lady, “we've two problems. Let's call them Sindi's, and Lady B, then start with Sindi's. What does she owe you?”

67. “Ah, let me think.” One eye closed Crinda twirled the end of his beard around a finger.

68. Wizard knew this to be a tell of him debating to be honest or tweak the numbers a bit. “Real numbers, if you don't mind.”

69. “Awright, maybe low as five but no higher than ten degas for court fees me done paid.” He waggled his hand. “But, figure in standard usury the law allows we're talking forty, fifty degas, total.”

70. When he didn't continue Wizard tapped the counter. “Jagu?”

71. “Oh right,” the eye winked shut again, “right. Think the last figure was a hundred or so, and he wouldn't up me operatin' rights fer the DragOn and ladies upstairs.” He made a face. “But we knows lying snake be jackin' me up soon as me caves.”

72. “Definitely.” Wizard brought his newly earned riches out, and laid them on the counter. “Can solve both your troubles, I'll buy her indentureship. Twelve there, get you the rest soon as I can.”

73. “Really, Wiz?” Crinda stacked the coins up. “You ain't packed 'em around long enuff to warm 'em up.”

74. “Easy come,” Wizard shrugged, “easy go, and two problems solved. Doesn't help Jagu, but he'll get over it, eventually.”

75. “Tell you what,” stroking his beard he leaned against the counter, “let me finish with Jagu's other lady trouble. Your lady B, then we can talk about the lassie.”

76. “Hmp-pf,” Wizard had another sip of fyre, “slap him with my uncontrollable body functions incantation, again. Should do the trick.” He drank his beer, thinking, after the third ladies' complaint and third time he hit him with the spell Jagu should’ve wised up and paid the lasses. Plus if they’re willing to take a beating pay them for that too. He said aloud, “Hell, he’s got enough gold to afford it.”

77. “Aye.” Mouth agape for heartbeats Crinda shook his head if clearing it. “Aye, he’s a rich tradesman for sure.”

78. “Tradesman my *****!” Wizard grunted, “Jagu’s the biggest thief and extortionist in both nations, just pays others to do his dirty work and keep his name clean.”

79. “You be right, and like we talked of he gots me under his thumb on more than one matter. We all knows he runs the biggest bawdyhouse here.” Crinda freshened their brews. “But ain’t a paying lass Wiz, she be townsfolk and bein' harassed.”

80. “No problem,” Wizard jiggled the last of his coins, “I’ll get the transportation set up, which Ravenwood would she prefer Tefar City or Iagr–”

81. “No Wiz, you ain’t listening, your thought thingie must be screwed up by that hell thingie.” Crinda jabbed a finger in to the counter. “She don’t wanna be movin', and be a true lady.”

82. “What?” The beer went down wrong, and Wizard sprayed a mouthful on the counter. “You’re joking! I know he’s rich enough to buy Paradise ten thousand times over, but where’s the ***** going to get himself a real lady. Hell, I bet last time the greasy pig took a decent bath my beard was red.”

83. “Therein lies the problem,” Crinda wiped up the beer, “see lady B ain’t willing.”

84. “Um-huh,” Wizard pushed his mug forward, for a free one, “got you.”

85. “Yeah,” Crinda leaned closer, “lady is married to another o’ the richest men in these parts, and doing a favor to Jagu for the other man. Well, things got squared away but Jagu wanted more, and she wouldn’t, but couldn’t–”

86. “Enough,” Wizard cut him off, “if all I’m going to get is a load of trail muffins and inane line of dribble I’ll go out back and drink with my ***** camel, Stoopid.” He chuckled. “Now let’s start over Crinda, my friend. Lady B, meaning Lady Syren made a deal with Jagu. Probably to bail her husband Lord Aron out of the financial woes he had a while back from losing those five ships to pirates. After he got back on his feet, Jagu had more dirt on Syren and wouldn’t give back whatever she put up as loan surety, right?”

87. “Good to sees you back to normal.” Shaking his head the gnome scrunched up his face. “But how does you do that?”

88. “It’s a gift, and a curse.” Wizard was talking about his talent for reading specific thoughts not minds in general. “Now, he’s blackmailed her into his bed, and somehow she managed to survive. Since he’ll never be convicted in court, do you want me to take the pig out? Could be an accident–”

89. “No,” Crinda’s hands went straight up, then he waved him off, “no, you can’t. She’s no idea where the information is, and don’t want it seein’ the light o’ day, so to speak. She’d like you to break in for a simple jewelry recovery, and if possible find the extra evidence he’s got on her.”

90. “Which is?”

91. “I don’t know,” Crinda pursed his lips, “and Lady Syren wouldn’t say. Look Wiz, I owe her for helpin’ me get the DragOn started. It’d be a favor to me, a big favor.” He re-filled the mug, and poured a double glass of Wizard’s favorite spirit, cactus juice with squeezed lime and salted glass rim. “Got a bit more to it.”

92. “Um-m,” Wizard crossed his arms, “always is.”

93. “Suppose so,” the barkeep glanced up at the ceiling with a pained look on his face, “but ain't bad. Paper evidence be brought here, but jewelry needs put back in her vault. She made fakes and switched 'em, but can’t get in it. Plus fakes needs busted up, by me only.”

94. “Got it.” Wizard sighed. “And this has to be done the same night or Jagu could squeal.”

95. Crinda nods, then grinned. “Ain’t gonna be free, there’s ten thousand degas in it for you, and whatever is in his ***** vault or house for that matter.”

96. “Ten, before or after your cut?”

97. “Swear,” Crinda tapped his right fist over his heart twice then kissed it, Wizard knew it was the highest gnomish oath of honor, “not laying a finger on it, that’s what she’ll pay.” He glanced back up at the ceiling. “But, if’n you were to–”

98. “I don't know.” Wizard cut him off, then stroked his beard, letting Crinda squirm. “Jagu hasn't got to the top of the heap being careless. I'm thinking guards will be lethal, vault best you can find.” He shook his head. “Think I better check into this demon thing better.”

99. “Nothin' to check out,” Crinda waggled his hand, “a tale or two, by drunks.”

100. “Really?”

101. “Aye, but just drunk tales.” Crinda leaned closer, and gave a half-***** stab at whispering. “Been stories by sailors sleepin' one off about the pier, and somethin' be sneakin' about, for who knows what. In the morn a sailor be missin', sometimes a sailor only gots parts missin', important ones.”

102. “Thugs robbing and pitching their victims in the sea.” Wizard took a drink. “Those cut up, probably woke up and got themselves killed. Why bother knocking them cold and pitching them in the bay if they're already dead, right?”

103. “Ah,” Crinda scrunched up his face, and made a blessing sign in the air, “me says missin' parts, as in ripped outta 'em, and not found.”

104. “Right.” Wizard let this new information sink in. “So, how about, they pitch the parts in the water, leave the body where it fell, right?”

105. “There be more,” he pointed at his eyes, “they see things, unknown violet-reddish creatures, with horns skulkin' about. None get more than a glimpse, and mind you they be drunk.”

106. “Great,” Wizard massaged his temples, “this means the dead possessed thing wasn't alone here.”

107. “Don't knows, being them tales ain't new. None be sure o' the date, but all agree be a high moon, dead set full.” Crinda shrugged. “Mighta been only a time or three, just seen by more than one drunk. On the other hand we knows plenty o' sailors come up missin' all the ***** time.”

108. “By the pier, hm-m.” Wizard knew Crinda hadn't had enough time to reach out to all his considerable sources. But the gnome had a finger on the pulse of Paradise, and besides barkeep skills his talent was in getting answers fast.

109. Hands clasped together with both forefingers Wizard tapped his lower lip, then arched an eyebrow. “Could be they were on a ship, passing through, because I just can't see Paradise being a preferred destination of demons.”

110. “Aye, but nobody frets over them missin' or dead. Hell, can't remembers the last time a murder be solved around here.” Crinda waved his hands. “Don't matter, back to Jagu, you in?”

111. “Coin sounds great,” Wizard scrunched up half his face, “but think I'd be over-reaching taking on such a case by myself.”

112. A table of drinkers signaled for another round and Crinda left Wizard with his thoughts. Ten thousand shiny gold pieces, and he thought he had it made with the fifteen he earned this eve. What would he do with so much coin? He never kept a record, but would be willing to bet he hadn't made ten thousand degas the last two years.

113. The other two table of drinkers needed re-fills, and the barkeep took care of them. Wizard knew he'd take the job, because he had no real choice. Looking around at the crazy colored room he enjoyed a chuckle, but swore he'd never give Crinda the job of painting his house, which he now could afford in the near future.

114. Crinda went over to the coin box, took some papers out and brought them back to Wizard. He pushed the stack of coins Wizard's way, then handed him the top paper. “Sindi's indentureship, it's yours, I'll sign it when you agrees.” He swallowed hard, no doubt at losing profit. “And you got the full commission if–”

115. “A tenth of it is yours.” Wizard drank down half the cactus juice. “Ah-h, that’s nice.” He didn’t have to be a sage to know it must be important if Crinda was plying him with free drinks, not stepping on the commission, and actually paying him to take the job. “A tenth our total take, if you can get me a full set of both plans, vault models, and info on whatever might be haunting Jagu’s place.”

116. “Don’t know about haunts, think they’re mere tales,” Crinda slid over some papers, “but pleasure doin’ business wit’ you.”

117. “Um-m, remains to be seen.” Wizard slipped the papers in his coat. “Alright, need three things from you, my friend. One, don’t want Stoopid becoming a pack animal, I don’t make it you take care of him for me.”

118. Crinda sighed, but gave him a nod.

119. Wizard held up a second finger. “Two, give Sindi her paper and tell her she's a freeman now.” He got another nod, then held up a third finger. “Three, you need to stock up on anise spirits.”

120. “Oh she-et, no ways,” the little fellow hissed like a desert rattler. “Freedom, no ways. You ain’t gettin’ her involved.” Pushing the drinks away from Wizard he shook his fist. “Don’t know Wiz, this seems to be some pretty personal things to the lady, and she probably wants this done discreetly.” He added just above a decent whisper, “And we’re talking her being guild related, a thief.”

121. “Really,” Wizard tapped his chest with a forefinger, “and what am I?”

122. “You?” Crinda made a pained face, as if thinking hard. “Ah, you be more o' a problem solver. Aye, that's it.”

123. “Trust me, Freedom is a problem solver too.” Wizard smiled a purely rotten smile. “A true professional in every aspect, quite possibly the best there is. If I had an exact location and specific object maybe it’d be a one-man job, but I need to search the whole mansion and need another experienced thief, or as you say, problem solver.”

124. “But her?” A shiver ran through Crinda, and he let out a snort. “Granted, don’t know her well, but never heard discreet mentioned in the same breath as her name. Hell, don’t think any know her real name.”

125. “Why do you need to?” Wizard shrugged, then took back his beer and sipped it. “Gotta be this way, or lady B can tell me the whole truth, and make me believe it.”

126. Blowing out an even deeper sigh, and more than a tad reluctant Crinda gave him another nod. “But ain’t fillin’ the shelves wit’ ***** no-sellin’ cough syrup slop, and tell her she’s payin’ for the ***** foul-tastin' stuff.”

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