return to content catalog »

"Lesson #2: Safety pins are not fashionable. (A very short story.)" by JJFoxhound

Category: Article / Essay

Tags: comedy, short story, nonfiction, teen, humor,

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.


                                                                Identity 101—Fashion Does Not Define You


                                                    “Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.”

                                                                                                               -Quentin Crisp, English Author


          As the average American struggles with their identity in their 40’s and 50’s—commonly known as a mid-life crisis—I, too, fought to define my individuality as a teen by means of fashion. The mod-punk trend left me with the impression that the more safety pins attached to your clothing, the cooler—or more punk-rock (and consequently, more rebellious)—you appear. Under this theory, if I have the most safety pins attached to my clothing, that would make me the most rebellious, and therefore verycool.

          Exhibit A: It was a usual clear afternoon in the fall semester of my sophomore year in high school. The sun welcomed the students into our lunch break, and nearly every one of us opted for the courtyard versus the cold, prison-like walls of the cafeteria. The near-perfect weather conditions would certainly oblige a breezy, trendy back-to-school getup—not unlike the preppy outfits you’d see whilst flipping through the JCPenney catalog your mother subscribed to. Catalog gear was typical though, and typical I was not. I was wearing my favorite jeans that had a giant self-made tear from the crotch and back around to the hip that I had safety-pinned shut using about 2 dozen pins (this is a conservative estimate considering my a*s is the size of rural China). I was headed outside to the big oak tree with my usual faux-punk clique. We proceeded to sit down beneath the tree when I abruptly screamed. No one batted an eye. I screamed louder, with the same (non-) reaction. Crying for attention was not an aberration for me at the time, and it seemed to have gotten old to my fellow classmates judging by their lack of concern. One at a time—the first few slowly, the rest with rapid succession—the pins had reached their maximum capacity for tension and popped open—and into—my left cheek as I began to sit down. I firmly believe the little metal devils were angry that they were not being used properly, and therefore decided to seek revenge by fastening the trashy denim to my a*s. Once my friends removed their cupped hands from over their ringing ears, they were able to see from my painful expression that this time, my screams had a legitimate purpose. With friends on either side of me, they took my arms and gently lifted me upwards—only to realize that this worsened the pain as the pins dug deeper into my once perfect and painless derrière. As I released myself from their grasp, I leaned my back against the tree and volunteered a couple of my friends to pluck them out, one by painful one.

          As I stood there humiliated, I remembered my father’s plea earlier that morning to stitch up the hole, and even offered (begged) to do it himself before I headed off to school. In my infinite wisdom and punk-rock/DIY ethic, I chose to ignore him and herein lies the consequence. Please, if you ever find this “safety pin” trend fashionable—and I hope you don’t—at the very least take my advice: make sure the sharp side is facing outward.




* login or signup to post your review

Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the piece or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the piece or understand what the author intended to convey. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of Review Fuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to provide constructive criticism. Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Category Name: Structure

The organization needs to be improved. This piece was cluttered and unconvincing. The organization was okay. The ideas were generally organized and mostly convincing. The organization of this piece was outstanding. The ideas were organized very well and presented in a convincing manner.

Category Name: Voice

The voice was not strong, consistent, or appropriate in this piece. This piece’s style and grasp of language need serious improvement. The voice was generally strong, consistent and appropriate. This style was good and the grasp of language adequate. The voice was delivered in a strong, consistent, and appropriate manner. This piece was skillfully styled and demonstrated a strong grasp of language.

Category Name: Subject Matter

My terminal insomnia has been cured. The subject matter was presented in a very dull and cursory manner. The examples did not illustrate the points well. I found this piece fairly interesting and the examples somewhat effective in illustrating the points. It could have been a bit more thorough. The subject matter very interesting, thoroughly presented, and the examples helped illustrate the points perfectly.

Category Name: Logic

The sentences did not flow and transition naturally. The ideas were presented out of order and hard to follow which discredited the argument(s). Overall the sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were generally presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which strengthened the argument(s). The sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which solidified the argument(s).

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1.

2.                                                                 Identity 101—Fashion Does Not Define You

3.

4.                                                     “Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.”

5.                                                                                                                -Quentin Crisp, English Author

6.

7.           As the average American struggles with their identity in their 40’s and 50’s—commonly known as a mid-life crisis—I, too, fought to define my individuality as a teen by means of fashion. The mod-punk trend left me with the impression that the more safety pins attached to your clothing, the cooler—or more punk-rock (and consequently, more rebellious)—you appear. Under this theory, if I have the most safety pins attached to my clothing, that would make me the most rebellious, and therefore verycool.

8.           Exhibit A: It was a usual clear afternoon in the fall semester of my sophomore year in high school. The sun welcomed the students into our lunch break, and nearly every one of us opted for the courtyard versus the cold, prison-like walls of the cafeteria. The near-perfect weather conditions would certainly oblige a breezy, trendy back-to-school getup—not unlike the preppy outfits you’d see whilst flipping through the JCPenney catalog your mother subscribed to. Catalog gear was typical though, and typical I was not. I was wearing my favorite jeans that had a giant self-made tear from the crotch and back around to the hip that I had safety-pinned shut using about 2 dozen pins (this is a conservative estimate considering my a*s is the size of rural China). I was headed outside to the big oak tree with my usual faux-punk clique. We proceeded to sit down beneath the tree when I abruptly screamed. No one batted an eye. I screamed louder, with the same (non-) reaction. Crying for attention was not an aberration for me at the time, and it seemed to have gotten old to my fellow classmates judging by their lack of concern. One at a time—the first few slowly, the rest with rapid succession—the pins had reached their maximum capacity for tension and popped open—and into—my left cheek as I began to sit down. I firmly believe the little metal devils were angry that they were not being used properly, and therefore decided to seek revenge by fastening the trashy denim to my a*s. Once my friends removed their cupped hands from over their ringing ears, they were able to see from my painful expression that this time, my screams had a legitimate purpose. With friends on either side of me, they took my arms and gently lifted me upwards—only to realize that this worsened the pain as the pins dug deeper into my once perfect and painless derrière. As I released myself from their grasp, I leaned my back against the tree and volunteered a couple of my friends to pluck them out, one by painful one.

9.           As I stood there humiliated, I remembered my father’s plea earlier that morning to stitch up the hole, and even offered (begged) to do it himself before I headed off to school. In my infinite wisdom and punk-rock/DIY ethic, I chose to ignore him and herein lies the consequence. Please, if you ever find this “safety pin” trend fashionable—and I hope you don’t—at the very least take my advice: make sure the sharp side is facing outward.

10.

11.

12.

Reviews that have been completed within the last 30 days

  • There are no reviews for this item.