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"Through The Eyes Of A Princess" by tammer1

This story depicts the emotional journey of a young girl whose world gets turned upside down after an unexpected trip with her father

Category: Contests / November First Chapter Contest

Tags: fiction, children

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

1



Through The Eyes Of a Princess



I was just a little girl when daddy packed me up and drove off. I wasn’t sure where we were going, I was just glad to be going somewhere, anywhere. I was sitting on my knees beside him while he was driving. I wrapped my left arm around his tan, wrinkled up neck and leaned my head against his. While he drove, I jabbered on about all kinds of silly stuff, trying to make my daddy laugh. I like it when he laughed cause his big ears wiggled up and down. But today he wasn't laughing, so I hushed up. It got quiet. Too quiet. I felt like I needed to fill up all that empty space with some more words so I asked daddy to tell me the story about momma again. Apparently that was a bad idea. I didn’t mean to make him sad, I just wanted to hear something about momma. It was all I had of her. She died right after I was born, so I had no memory of her. I clung to that story like a child clings to a toy they don't wanna share. “She’s in heaven, where all the other angels live”, he said. I saw his eyes fill up with water and in one single blink a tear made its way down his tired face. I gently wiped it off and patted his boney shoulders. It was the first time that story had made me feel sad. I guess daddy didn't like it as much as I did.

I was surprised when we took a turn and pulled up to a beauty salon. “What are we doing here, daddy”, I asked? He never answered, he just walked me right on in there. He started talking to this a lady that had really big hair and before I knew it I was being put in a chair on top of a huge stack of books in front of a mirror. My hair reached all the way down to my backside. It was long and the color of honey. My teenage sister would brush it out for me every night, pulling and tugging at it. I think she pulled it on purpose sometimes, just cause she had to look after me and all. I know that cause even when I didn’t have any tangles to tug at she’d just rake my head harder with the brush. She was sixteen and whether she liked it or not, she had become my new momma. Daddy made her quit school just to take care of me. He was a truck driver and stayed gone a lot and she was the only option  he had. But she loved me. I knew that cause she took good care of me. Sometimes she would even put curlers in my hair and I would sleep in them. It wasn't very comfortable, but it was always worth it.The next day I would have lots of curly locks. I felt like a real live princess on those days! Everybody always made such a fuss over me on my princess days.

On one of my princess days, I walked over to the laundry building where everybody in the trailer park washed their clothes. There was a gum ball machine there and I would get to go over sometimes and get me some gum. But on this one day there was more than just gum in it.There was a ring in that machine! I wanted that ring something fierce, so I ran home and got as many pennies as I could find. A whole hand full. Once I got back I went over to that machine and started going at it. Only problem was I just kept getting them stupid gum balls. I wanted that ring! I stared down at my last penny as if it were my last hope. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of detergent filling my nose. And I prayed out loud, "Please gimme that ring". That’s when I heard a noise behind me. I jerked around and saw my teenage sister’s boyfriend standing there watching me. Oh my God! He probably heard me begging that stupid machine for a ring! I think I was having one of them embarrassin’ moments, ‘cause my face felt real hot all of a sudden. He looked extra handsome that day with his western boots on and his black hair slicked back like Elvis. He looked at me with kind eyes and a crooked smile and started walking towards me. Then he reached into his pocket and handed me a bunch of pennies, so I could keep trying, I guess. But I just ran back home and hid my little red hot face in my room, that’s what I did. I didn't want that stupid ring anymore anyway.


"Well, hello there, little one". It was the lady daddy had been talking to when we first got to the salon. She scared me something fierce when she held up a pair of scissors. Now, a brush and maybe some curlers I expected, but scissors? I looked over at my daddy hoping he could explain what was about to happen, but he just came over and stood next to me. He ran his hand all the way down my long hair as if it was going to be his last chance. And it was. That lady cut my hair all the way up to my ears! Wouldn’t you just know it. I finally get to go to a beauty salon and she whacks it all off. I look like a dang boy now. I saw my daddy’s face through the mirror and he was all teary-eyed again. What the heck was he crying for? I’m the one whose curly locks are laying all over the floor! I scrunched up my eyebrows and made a mean face at that lady , only she didn’t see me ‘cause she was too busy ruining my life. And if that’s not bad enough my daddy gave her money. My teenage sister would’ve done it for free and loved every minute of it. I was glad when we could leave that bad place.


Instead of getting into the car to leave, daddy took me across the street to a diner. I was so busy being mad that I forgot how hungry I was. But, as soon as I smelled the inside of that place my stomach started getting all rumbly inside. Daddy let me choose where we would sit since it was my first time in a restaurant. I looked all over for the perfect seat and chose an orange booth by the window that had a little bitty juke box on it. I didn't get to play any songs on it cause daddy said it costs money, but I liked playing with it. A pretty lady came over and asked us what we wanted to eat. I looked up at daddy and wondered if he had enough money for both of us to get something. "Two specials, he said. She came back a few minutes later with two of the biggest hamburgers I ever did see! And french fries! And cold root beer with lots of fizz on the top! I was in heaven. It was so good that I wished I could eat there everyday, but that wasn’t gonna happen on account of the fact that we were poor. I know that ‘cause I heard that lady at the salvation army say it to her friend one day when we went to get me some shoes.


Back in the car I laid down for the rest of our trip, tired from the hair mistake and full from the food. I hadn’t been asleep long when the car got real still. We weren’t moving anymore, so I sat up to see where we were. “Oh!”, I exclaimed happily. We were at the Children’s Home. My daddy called it an orphanage. That’s were some of my other brothers and sisters lived. After my momma went to live with the angels they just started leavin’ one by one. We got to come to visit every once in awhile and I was always excited to see them all. I had one big sister who was ten and two big brothers who were seven and fourteen there. I missed them a lot. I was the only little one at home anymore and that means I didn’t have anybody to play with. And that was not good. Adults are not fun in case you didn’t know that. Daddy grabbed the suitcase from the back seat and brought it in with us. Maybe we were gonna have a sleep-over. That would be the best plan ever!


We visited for a long time and I got to play outside on the swing set with my big sister and her friends. It was the most fun I’d had in a long time. Daddy stayed inside with the grown-ups. Before long everyone was being called in for supper and I started to get real sad. This is where I have to leave my sister again and I didn’t like going home without her. It just didn’t seem right that she didn’t live at home with me and daddy.


All the kids took their seats at the table and the adult lady pulled out a chair for me to sit in. I looked to see if my daddy had a chair, but I didn’t see him anywhere. “Where’s my daddy?”, I asked as I stood there not knowing what to do. “Do I get to sleep over?


The adult lady just looked at me for a minute and that’s when she told me the awful truth. “You’re daddy has gone home, sweetie and this is your new home.. You’ll be living here now.”

I stood there for about a second before I bolted for the door. I saw daddy’s car leaving and started running after him. “Wait, daddy, wait! You forgot me, wait! I saw his eyes looking at me through that mirror in the front seat of the car, but he didn’t stop. He just kept right on going. He was leaving me on purpose. He didn’t even tell me that’s what he was gonna do. “WAIT!!!!!! DADDY, STOP!!!!!!!!!!”, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I’m just a little girl, daddy, please don’t leave me, I wanna go home”!, I cried as I fell to my knees onto the gravel driveway.


That’s when I felt a loving hand rubbing my back “It’s gonna be okay, sis. I’ll be here with you, I’ll take care of you”, she whispered. I looked back toward the road one last time, but daddy was long gone. He wasn’t coming back either. I looked into my sister’s eyes searching for an answer and they told me that she knew exactly everything that I was feeling. Then, without any warning, that really good hamburger and french fries that I ate earlier came hurling out of my mouth and onto the ground. I didn’t need nobody to hold my hair out of the way either, cause it was all gone. So were my princess days. And so was my daddy..........




















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Category Name: My Thoughts

I did not enjoy the chapter. The chapter was okay. I really enjoyed the chapter.

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Category Name: Character Development

The characters were not credible, interesting or unique. I don’t care about or understand the characters because they were poorly developed. The characters where somewhat credible, interesting and unique. I partially understand their thoughts, feelings, and actions. I somewhat connected with and care about the characters. The characters where credible, interesting and unique. I thoroughly understand their thoughts, feelings and actions. I felt connected with and started to care about the characters.

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Category Name: The Beginning

The chapter did not introduce a problem. I really don’t want to read the next chapter. The chapter introduces a problem for the protagonist, but I don’t know why it’s important and/or it does not feel like an immediate resolution is needed. I might read the next chapter. The chapter introduced an immediate and important problem for the protagonist. I really want to know what happens in the next chapter.

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Category Name: Setting

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Category Name: Mechanics

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Category Name: Dialog

The dialog caused more confusion than clarification about the characters. It was almost impossible to follow. Some of the dialog helped me learn about the characters and revealed new facets of their personalities. I could follow the dialog when paying close attention. The dialog helped me learn about the characters and revealed new facets of their personalities. The dialog flowed well and was easy to follow.

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4. Through The Eyes Of a Princess

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6.

7. I was just a little girl when daddy packed me up and drove off. I wasn’t sure where we were going, I was just glad to be going somewhere, anywhere. I was sitting on my knees beside him while he was driving. I wrapped my left arm around his tan, wrinkled up neck and leaned my head against his. While he drove, I jabbered on about all kinds of silly stuff, trying to make my daddy laugh. I like it when he laughed cause his big ears wiggled up and down. But today he wasn't laughing, so I hushed up. It got quiet. Too quiet. I felt like I needed to fill up all that empty space with some more words so I asked daddy to tell me the story about momma again. Apparently that was a bad idea. I didn’t mean to make him sad, I just wanted to hear something about momma. It was all I had of her. She died right after I was born, so I had no memory of her. I clung to that story like a child clings to a toy they don't wanna share. “She’s in heaven, where all the other angels live”, he said. I saw his eyes fill up with water and in one single blink a tear made its way down his tired face. I gently wiped it off and patted his boney shoulders. It was the first time that story had made me feel sad. I guess daddy didn't like it as much as I did.

8. I was surprised when we took a turn and pulled up to a beauty salon. “What are we doing here, daddy”, I asked? He never answered, he just walked me right on in there. He started talking to this a lady that had really big hair and before I knew it I was being put in a chair on top of a huge stack of books in front of a mirror. My hair reached all the way down to my backside. It was long and the color of honey. My teenage sister would brush it out for me every night, pulling and tugging at it. I think she pulled it on purpose sometimes, just cause she had to look after me and all. I know that cause even when I didn’t have any tangles to tug at she’d just rake my head harder with the brush. She was sixteen and whether she liked it or not, she had become my new momma. Daddy made her quit school just to take care of me. He was a truck driver and stayed gone a lot and she was the only option  he had. But she loved me. I knew that cause she took good care of me. Sometimes she would even put curlers in my hair and I would sleep in them. It wasn't very comfortable, but it was always worth it.The next day I would have lots of curly locks. I felt like a real live princess on those days! Everybody always made such a fuss over me on my princess days.

9. On one of my princess days, I walked over to the laundry building where everybody in the trailer park washed their clothes. There was a gum ball machine there and I would get to go over sometimes and get me some gum. But on this one day there was more than just gum in it.There was a ring in that machine! I wanted that ring something fierce, so I ran home and got as many pennies as I could find. A whole hand full. Once I got back I went over to that machine and started going at it. Only problem was I just kept getting them stupid gum balls. I wanted that ring! I stared down at my last penny as if it were my last hope. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of detergent filling my nose. And I prayed out loud, "Please gimme that ring". That’s when I heard a noise behind me. I jerked around and saw my teenage sister’s boyfriend standing there watching me. Oh my God! He probably heard me begging that stupid machine for a ring! I think I was having one of them embarrassin’ moments, ‘cause my face felt real hot all of a sudden. He looked extra handsome that day with his western boots on and his black hair slicked back like Elvis. He looked at me with kind eyes and a crooked smile and started walking towards me. Then he reached into his pocket and handed me a bunch of pennies, so I could keep trying, I guess. But I just ran back home and hid my little red hot face in my room, that’s what I did. I didn't want that stupid ring anymore anyway.

10.

11. "Well, hello there, little one". It was the lady daddy had been talking to when we first got to the salon. She scared me something fierce when she held up a pair of scissors. Now, a brush and maybe some curlers I expected, but scissors? I looked over at my daddy hoping he could explain what was about to happen, but he just came over and stood next to me. He ran his hand all the way down my long hair as if it was going to be his last chance. And it was. That lady cut my hair all the way up to my ears! Wouldn’t you just know it. I finally get to go to a beauty salon and she whacks it all off. I look like a dang boy now. I saw my daddy’s face through the mirror and he was all teary-eyed again. What the heck was he crying for? I’m the one whose curly locks are laying all over the floor! I scrunched up my eyebrows and made a mean face at that lady , only she didn’t see me ‘cause she was too busy ruining my life. And if that’s not bad enough my daddy gave her money. My teenage sister would’ve done it for free and loved every minute of it. I was glad when we could leave that bad place.

12.

13. Instead of getting into the car to leave, daddy took me across the street to a diner. I was so busy being mad that I forgot how hungry I was. But, as soon as I smelled the inside of that place my stomach started getting all rumbly inside. Daddy let me choose where we would sit since it was my first time in a restaurant. I looked all over for the perfect seat and chose an orange booth by the window that had a little bitty juke box on it. I didn't get to play any songs on it cause daddy said it costs money, but I liked playing with it. A pretty lady came over and asked us what we wanted to eat. I looked up at daddy and wondered if he had enough money for both of us to get something. "Two specials, he said. She came back a few minutes later with two of the biggest hamburgers I ever did see! And french fries! And cold root beer with lots of fizz on the top! I was in heaven. It was so good that I wished I could eat there everyday, but that wasn’t gonna happen on account of the fact that we were poor. I know that ‘cause I heard that lady at the salvation army say it to her friend one day when we went to get me some shoes.

14.

15. Back in the car I laid down for the rest of our trip, tired from the hair mistake and full from the food. I hadn’t been asleep long when the car got real still. We weren’t moving anymore, so I sat up to see where we were. “Oh!”, I exclaimed happily. We were at the Children’s Home. My daddy called it an orphanage. That’s were some of my other brothers and sisters lived. After my momma went to live with the angels they just started leavin’ one by one. We got to come to visit every once in awhile and I was always excited to see them all. I had one big sister who was ten and two big brothers who were seven and fourteen there. I missed them a lot. I was the only little one at home anymore and that means I didn’t have anybody to play with. And that was not good. Adults are not fun in case you didn’t know that. Daddy grabbed the suitcase from the back seat and brought it in with us. Maybe we were gonna have a sleep-over. That would be the best plan ever!

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17. We visited for a long time and I got to play outside on the swing set with my big sister and her friends. It was the most fun I’d had in a long time. Daddy stayed inside with the grown-ups. Before long everyone was being called in for supper and I started to get real sad. This is where I have to leave my sister again and I didn’t like going home without her. It just didn’t seem right that she didn’t live at home with me and daddy.

18.

19. All the kids took their seats at the table and the adult lady pulled out a chair for me to sit in. I looked to see if my daddy had a chair, but I didn’t see him anywhere. “Where’s my daddy?”, I asked as I stood there not knowing what to do. “Do I get to sleep over?

20.

21. The adult lady just looked at me for a minute and that’s when she told me the awful truth. “You’re daddy has gone home, sweetie and this is your new home.. You’ll be living here now.”

22. I stood there for about a second before I bolted for the door. I saw daddy’s car leaving and started running after him. “Wait, daddy, wait! You forgot me, wait! I saw his eyes looking at me through that mirror in the front seat of the car, but he didn’t stop. He just kept right on going. He was leaving me on purpose. He didn’t even tell me that’s what he was gonna do. “WAIT!!!!!! DADDY, STOP!!!!!!!!!!”, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I’m just a little girl, daddy, please don’t leave me, I wanna go home”!, I cried as I fell to my knees onto the gravel driveway.

23.

24. That’s when I felt a loving hand rubbing my back “It’s gonna be okay, sis. I’ll be here with you, I’ll take care of you”, she whispered. I looked back toward the road one last time, but daddy was long gone. He wasn’t coming back either. I looked into my sister’s eyes searching for an answer and they told me that she knew exactly everything that I was feeling. Then, without any warning, that really good hamburger and french fries that I ate earlier came hurling out of my mouth and onto the ground. I didn’t need nobody to hold my hair out of the way either, cause it was all gone. So were my princess days. And so was my daddy..........

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