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"I’M SORRY BUT WHERE IM FROM A “HO DOWN” MEANS A PROSTITUTE FELL OFF THE CURB" by heidieverett

Category: Article / Essay

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"That's why they call them dreams, because they will never become reality." The most quotable piece of literature in my brain. Sometimes I wonder if it really is true. I am no longer striving for the marshmallow dreams I once followed as a child. Instead it seems my once hopeful dreams have been replaced with a heavy dose of reality. The job, the stress, the apartment, the friends, and the boyfriend. To an outside onlooker I have it all. I live in the best city on the world, in the richest part no less. I have a famous boyfriend, make six figures easily with a talent I seemed born to do. It's not what you know in the world, but who you know and who knows you. The glamour of New York City, the glamour that lures you into a deep dark hole that you seem to fall into with no chance of getting out. Before you know it you are living in a dream world that is apparent to anyone else but you.

Before you can snap your fingers you snap yourself out of your bubble and break down. I first had my breakdown on the floor of my posh mahogany trimmed conference room where I had spent countless hours signing contracts with lucrative buyers, collecting checks, and negotiating fees.

But not today; no, today would be completely different from all the other previous experiences. Usually I sit proud atop the chairs in the conference room, but today I am curled up on the conference room floor in a fetal position looking like something that got caught in a drain outside Madison Avenue.

The first time I thought my world might be coming to an end I was showing a $1.2 million dollar penthouse in Trump Tower on Park Avenue to clients who had a nanny for their dog. But I composed myself. I cannot be the one to blow a sale or cry because my world sucks, right now, I don't matter. All that matters is pleasing these people. Actually, that is all that ever matters, pleasing your client. After all they are the ones who put food on your table.

Once I returned to the office I quickly excused myself to the conference room which in turn turned out to be the breakdown of 2006. No one would think I would have a break down, I am too young, I have too many things going for me, I live in New York Citysomething most people only dream about. My boyfriend is a gorgeous and wealthy professional football player. I drive a $125k Maserati for Pete's sake. But I did. It doesn't matter, I still broke down. I guess after you put on face and lie to yourself you start to believe it. That is until you jump back into reality where there is not one thing to brighten your day.

What once made me go to sleep thanking my lucky stars, now has me pondering whether it's worth waking up for tomorrow. Do you know what it is like to hate your life so much that you can't find one thing in twenty four hours to make you happy? Your car is gone, you broke your lease on your apartment, you quit your job, and you have virtually no friends. Do you know what that is like? Well let me tell you.

One day you're the toast of the town the next you're the talk. Material things don't do it anymore and your best friend now comes in an easy to pop pill form. Do you know anyone who is like that? I bet you do and I bet you envy her. But let me let you in on a little secret, she envies you too.


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Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the piece or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the piece or understand what the author intended to convey. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of Review Fuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to provide constructive criticism. Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Category Name: Structure

The organization needs to be improved. This piece was cluttered and unconvincing. The organization was okay. The ideas were generally organized and mostly convincing. The organization of this piece was outstanding. The ideas were organized very well and presented in a convincing manner.

Category Name: Voice

The voice was not strong, consistent, or appropriate in this piece. This piece’s style and grasp of language need serious improvement. The voice was generally strong, consistent and appropriate. This style was good and the grasp of language adequate. The voice was delivered in a strong, consistent, and appropriate manner. This piece was skillfully styled and demonstrated a strong grasp of language.

Category Name: Subject Matter

My terminal insomnia has been cured. The subject matter was presented in a very dull and cursory manner. The examples did not illustrate the points well. I found this piece fairly interesting and the examples somewhat effective in illustrating the points. It could have been a bit more thorough. The subject matter very interesting, thoroughly presented, and the examples helped illustrate the points perfectly.

Category Name: Logic

The sentences did not flow and transition naturally. The ideas were presented out of order and hard to follow which discredited the argument(s). Overall the sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were generally presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which strengthened the argument(s). The sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which solidified the argument(s).

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1. "That's why they call them dreams, because they will never become reality." The most quotable piece of literature in my brain. Sometimes I wonder if it really is true. I am no longer striving for the marshmallow dreams I once followed as a child. Instead it seems my once hopeful dreams have been replaced with a heavy dose of reality. The job, the stress, the apartment, the friends, and the boyfriend. To an outside onlooker I have it all. I live in the best city on the world, in the richest part no less. I have a famous boyfriend, make six figures easily with a talent I seemed born to do. It's not what you know in the world, but who you know and who knows you. The glamour of New York City, the glamour that lures you into a deep dark hole that you seem to fall into with no chance of getting out. Before you know it you are living in a dream world that is apparent to anyone else but you.

2. Before you can snap your fingers you snap yourself out of your bubble and break down. I first had my breakdown on the floor of my posh mahogany trimmed conference room where I had spent countless hours signing contracts with lucrative buyers, collecting checks, and negotiating fees.

3. But not today; no, today would be completely different from all the other previous experiences. Usually I sit proud atop the chairs in the conference room, but today I am curled up on the conference room floor in a fetal position looking like something that got caught in a drain outside Madison Avenue.

4. The first time I thought my world might be coming to an end I was showing a $1.2 million dollar penthouse in Trump Tower on Park Avenue to clients who had a nanny for their dog. But I composed myself. I cannot be the one to blow a sale or cry because my world sucks, right now, I don't matter. All that matters is pleasing these people. Actually, that is all that ever matters, pleasing your client. After all they are the ones who put food on your table.

5. Once I returned to the office I quickly excused myself to the conference room which in turn turned out to be the breakdown of 2006. No one would think I would have a break down, I am too young, I have too many things going for me, I live in New York Citysomething most people only dream about. My boyfriend is a gorgeous and wealthy professional football player. I drive a $125k Maserati for Pete's sake. But I did. It doesn't matter, I still broke down. I guess after you put on face and lie to yourself you start to believe it. That is until you jump back into reality where there is not one thing to brighten your day.

6. What once made me go to sleep thanking my lucky stars, now has me pondering whether it's worth waking up for tomorrow. Do you know what it is like to hate your life so much that you can't find one thing in twenty four hours to make you happy? Your car is gone, you broke your lease on your apartment, you quit your job, and you have virtually no friends. Do you know what that is like? Well let me tell you.

7. One day you're the toast of the town the next you're the talk. Material things don't do it anymore and your best friend now comes in an easy to pop pill form. Do you know anyone who is like that? I bet you do and I bet you envy her. But let me let you in on a little secret, she envies you too.

8.

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