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"my disability" by shari_weller2001

this is about how I deilt with my disability in the past until now.

Category: Article / Essay

Tags: this is my story about my disability and how I learned to deal with it.

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i'm vision i mpaird since I was born. Optic nerve famage was the cause. I was born on march 5 1963. have two brothers  they are married along with five neices and one nephew.  I started out at the New Holland Elementry school for about a year, until  my teachers foundout that I couldn't see the blackboard.  than the Overbrook school for the Blind came to mind. I finished up Kindergarden  there at Overbrook. when I walked into this big room full of nine beds in it.I knew and thought i'm spending the night here.? than I realized it was for a week, than went home on weekends and holiday vacations and three month's in the summertime.  I pretty much got along with the kids at the school. some of the boys were a little on the wild side, but learned to get along with them sooner or later as I got older. some of the people at the school were smart and thougth they knew it all and at times people like me waited until we heard an answer to a question from them, than we would repeat the answers they did. after school was the best. some of us or most of us had our faverite groups of friends to hang out with. teachers, houseparents etc.  when I was still a kid. I got homesick when going back to school, and on Friday got excited to go home.  back to people who knew it all. some of the totally blind people acted like they knew it all as well. they would say to me you can see and we can't whatch where you're going. I would get into the verge of tears and get upset.  I hated feeling left out I wanted to be part of the party. but than as I got older I started taking after  my friends when it came to listening to some of the bands and rock stars etc. John denver was one of the ones I liked. saw him in concert once. than it was the starland vocal band, than Rick Springfield etc. I had an obsession of some of these bands and artists in the past. but than I found out why I was in this fantisy world I was in because my mom was very sick. she had dibetisice, but than she died back in october of 1984. still miss her, but think of her  everyday. than back in 2005 I lost my best friend stacy when she got killed by a car  on the first of February of 05, still miss her and think of her today. as for my disability sometimes it still bothers me, but I try not to let it get in the way.


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Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the piece or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the piece or understand what the author intended to convey. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of Review Fuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to provide constructive criticism. Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Category Name: Structure

The organization needs to be improved. This piece was cluttered and unconvincing. The organization was okay. The ideas were generally organized and mostly convincing. The organization of this piece was outstanding. The ideas were organized very well and presented in a convincing manner.

Category Name: Voice

The voice was not strong, consistent, or appropriate in this piece. This piece’s style and grasp of language need serious improvement. The voice was generally strong, consistent and appropriate. This style was good and the grasp of language adequate. The voice was delivered in a strong, consistent, and appropriate manner. This piece was skillfully styled and demonstrated a strong grasp of language.

Category Name: Subject Matter

My terminal insomnia has been cured. The subject matter was presented in a very dull and cursory manner. The examples did not illustrate the points well. I found this piece fairly interesting and the examples somewhat effective in illustrating the points. It could have been a bit more thorough. The subject matter very interesting, thoroughly presented, and the examples helped illustrate the points perfectly.

Category Name: Logic

The sentences did not flow and transition naturally. The ideas were presented out of order and hard to follow which discredited the argument(s). Overall the sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were generally presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which strengthened the argument(s). The sentences flowed and transitioned naturally. The ideas were presented in orderwell ordered and easy to follow which solidified the argument(s).

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1. i'm vision i mpaird since I was born. Optic nerve famage was the cause. I was born on march 5 1963. have two brothers  they are married along with five neices and one nephew.  I started out at the New Holland Elementry school for about a year, until  my teachers foundout that I couldn't see the blackboard.  than the Overbrook school for the Blind came to mind. I finished up Kindergarden  there at Overbrook. when I walked into this big room full of nine beds in it.I knew and thought i'm spending the night here.? than I realized it was for a week, than went home on weekends and holiday vacations and three month's in the summertime.  I pretty much got along with the kids at the school. some of the boys were a little on the wild side, but learned to get along with them sooner or later as I got older. some of the people at the school were smart and thougth they knew it all and at times people like me waited until we heard an answer to a question from them, than we would repeat the answers they did. after school was the best. some of us or most of us had our faverite groups of friends to hang out with. teachers, houseparents etc.  when I was still a kid. I got homesick when going back to school, and on Friday got excited to go home.  back to people who knew it all. some of the totally blind people acted like they knew it all as well. they would say to me you can see and we can't whatch where you're going. I would get into the verge of tears and get upset.  I hated feeling left out I wanted to be part of the party. but than as I got older I started taking after  my friends when it came to listening to some of the bands and rock stars etc. John denver was one of the ones I liked. saw him in concert once. than it was the starland vocal band, than Rick Springfield etc. I had an obsession of some of these bands and artists in the past. but than I found out why I was in this fantisy world I was in because my mom was very sick. she had dibetisice, but than she died back in october of 1984. still miss her, but think of her  everyday. than back in 2005 I lost my best friend stacy when she got killed by a car  on the first of February of 05, still miss her and think of her today. as for my disability sometimes it still bothers me, but I try not to let it get in the way.

2.

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