return to content catalog »

"An Bac Mac Nam" by PeglegGem

Lots of Viet kids do this when they come to America. First, they turn quiet. Then they don’t want Viet food anymore. Then they don’t wanna speak Viet with family. Then they do the worst, most horrible thing anyone can do: they forget their family. To them, America is their new family, and belonging there is all that matters. But they forget that America is big, and America doesn’t care that you’re Viet, and America won’t comfort you when you’re feeling things that English can’t describe.

Category: Contests / April Flash Fiction

Tags: vietnam, high school, life, fiction, flash fiction,

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

Uncle V love to brag about his nephews and sons. He always tell story, of his father, and his father’s father, and how they all were hard -working men. Farmers, he say, are strongest of all men: stronger than soldier, because soldier fight on battlefield once, maybe twice in his life, but farmer fight with ground every day of his life. He tell of how his father and his father’s father save up all their bak to move somewhere else, to give better life to future generation. Now Uncle V have enough money ta come here, to America. He say he love seeing these strong young boy in America, where, he say, they have a chance to fill their father father father’s dream.

To Truc, he say, “What a strong smart boy! He real American boy, yes? Truc, you get great job one day and make much money for us! You be able to take care of your M when she advance in year! We be able to say, I know that boy! He can eat whole sour melon in one bite!” He mess up Truc’s hair affectionately, letting out big belly laugh. I think Truc like idea of being remembered for eating sour melon.

Everyone laugh with whole heart, but I just stay there frozen, letting word play over in my head again and again: A real American boy!

Truc not American boy; he Vietnamese boy.

Uncle V and rest of family don’t seem bother by this idea, this double-promise: to America and to Vietnam. They act like it good thing. But how can they say that fine? One can’t be yes and no, ying and yang, North and South.

It like that saying we have: n Bc, Mc Nam. It mean “eating as in the North, clothing as in the South.” It mean to me, you can’t be two thing at once. If you of the North, you of the North. If you of the South, you of the South. That it. Done. Same thing here: you American or you Vietnamese. Not both. Never. Ever.

Family understand how important difference between North and South is. That why we in America right now, because the two meeting only cause fighting and danger. How they be so blind that they do the esact same thing? Mess with same power and danger. Mix America and Vietnam. They two opposite that never supposed to meet together.

But I seem’a be the only one that understand. I seem’a be the only one that care that Vietnam in America get surrounded, choke, die—that who we are be forgotten.

Because you can’t eat in Vietnam and wear American clothe.



* login or signup to post your review

Category Name: My Thoughts

I did not enjoy this story. I am not even sure what problem the protagonist faced. This story was okay. The story would have been better if the author had introduced the problem differently and made it feel more pressing. I really enjoyed this story. The author did a good job pulling me into the story by introducing an immediate and important problem for the protagonist.

This section is for overall comments and general ideas. The score should reflect how much you enjoyed the story.

Category Name: Character Development

The characters were not dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable or unique. I don’t care about or understand the characters because they were poorly developed. The characters were somewhat dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable and unique. I partially understood the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the characters. I somewhat connected with and care about the characters. The characters were very dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable and unique. I thoroughly understood their thoughts, feelings and actions. I felt connected with and cared about the characters.

This is act of bringing a character to life on the page. It is a combination of the author’s description of the character and the character’s dialog, action, and thoughts. Though all characters should be believable, the protagonist and antagonist are usually the most developed characters.

Category Name: Plot

I finished reading the story so the plot must have unfolded, but I am not sure what the plot was. The characters did not achieve or grow by solving the problems they faced in this story. There were definite wrinkles in the way the plot unfolded leading to the final conflict. The plot was loosely tied to the achievement and growth of the characters. The way the protagonist overcame some of the problems flowed unnaturally with the story. I could see the plot unfolding through a series of escalating problems that lead to the final conflict. The plot helped me understand the achievements and growth of the characters. The way the protagonist overcame the problems flowed naturally with the st

In fiction a plot is all the events in a story, particularly rendered towards the achievement of some particular artistic or emotional effect. In other words it's what mostly happened in the story. The plot draws the reader into the character's lives and helps the reader understand the choices that the characters make.

Category Name: Dialog

The dialog seemed like cold words on paper. I had a hard time following it. I didn’t learn very much about the characters through the dialog. Through the dialog I could sometimes see the characters learn and grow while occasionally discovering new facets of their personalities. The dialog was generally consistent with the character. Through the dialog I could see the characters learn and grow while simultaneously discovering new facets of their personalities. The dialog was true to the character and it helped me understand the characters emotions.

Category Name: Setting

The setting created a haze in my mind that detracted from the story. I am lost in time and space because I don’t know when or where this story takes place. The setting was described adequately, but not well enough to bring it to life in my mind. The setting did not add to or detract from the story. I am pretty sure I know when and where the story takes place. The author engaged all of my senses while vividly describing the setting. The setting helped me better understand the setting and plot. I know when and where this story takes place.

The setting is where a story takes place. The choice of setting and its description helps the story come alive in the mind of the reader. Appropriate setting contributes to the plot and mood of the story.

Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the plot or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the plot or connect with characters in the story. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of ReviewFuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to "ignite creativity." Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1. Uncle V love to brag about his nephews and sons. He always tell story, of his father, and his father’s father, and how they all were hard -working men. Farmers, he say, are strongest of all men: stronger than soldier, because soldier fight on battlefield once, maybe twice in his life, but farmer fight with ground every day of his life. He tell of how his father and his father’s father save up all their bak to move somewhere else, to give better life to future generation. Now Uncle V have enough money ta come here, to America. He say he love seeing these strong young boy in America, where, he say, they have a chance to fill their father father father’s dream.

2. To Truc, he say, “What a strong smart boy! He real American boy, yes? Truc, you get great job one day and make much money for us! You be able to take care of your M when she advance in year! We be able to say, I know that boy! He can eat whole sour melon in one bite!” He mess up Truc’s hair affectionately, letting out big belly laugh. I think Truc like idea of being remembered for eating sour melon.

3. Everyone laugh with whole heart, but I just stay there frozen, letting word play over in my head again and again: A real American boy!

4. Truc not American boy; he Vietnamese boy.

5. Uncle V and rest of family don’t seem bother by this idea, this double-promise: to America and to Vietnam. They act like it good thing. But how can they say that fine? One can’t be yes and no, ying and yang, North and South.

6. It like that saying we have: n Bc, Mc Nam. It mean “eating as in the North, clothing as in the South.” It mean to me, you can’t be two thing at once. If you of the North, you of the North. If you of the South, you of the South. That it. Done. Same thing here: you American or you Vietnamese. Not both. Never. Ever.

7. Family understand how important difference between North and South is. That why we in America right now, because the two meeting only cause fighting and danger. How they be so blind that they do the esact same thing? Mess with same power and danger. Mix America and Vietnam. They two opposite that never supposed to meet together.

8. But I seem’a be the only one that understand. I seem’a be the only one that care that Vietnam in America get surrounded, choke, die—that who we are be forgotten.

9. Because you can’t eat in Vietnam and wear American clothe.

10.

11.

Reviews that have been completed within the last 30 days

  • There are no reviews for this item.