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"THE PATHS WE TAKE IN LIFE" by peacefulmom

A STORY OF A OLDER MAN,LOOKING BACK AT HIS LIFE

Category: Contests / March Short Story

Tags: fiction

You can do an inline review of this work in the review tab.

A older man sitting in favorite chair smoking yesterdays cigar, thinking about his life. He takes another puff of his cigar making smoke rings above his head. He looks around at all the riches he has and thinks about the beauty that once filled his castle that he built for his wife. That was gone forever, nothing gave the older man greater joy and peace then sitting in his favorite chair thinking about his life with his family. His kids, now grown up with families of their own. The love of his life, no longer able to walk this earth with him. They looked at the way their father lived his life now, the way it used to be when their mom was still around. It did not bother him what his kids thought about him or how he should live his life, it was his life to live until he was able to reunited with his loving wife again. The older man works hard his whole life without ever regretting anything he strived for. He worked for his family, so they could be comfortable and happy, and have joy in their life like he did ever time he saw his beautiful wife and kids. The older man took another puff of his cigar, wondering about the times when he will no longer be around, what his kids and others people in his life will remember about him, will they remember his riches or his kindness, that he returned to the people that he knew or didn't know that they were in need. Sometimes life threw him things that he did not understand, why it needs to be this way In the end as the years went by he kept on working and learning and the more he thought the more his wisdom grew. He understood now in life, what was really important to him . It doesn't matter what he had in life, it matters more who you had in your life. The older man just stared at his wife's empty chair sitting next to him. He wished in the past that he knew this wisdom the older man's wife was the love of his life and he told her everyday until the day her feet left the the green grass forever. The days that he treasured most were days he spent with his wife even more now then ever before. The older man that once had everything in life that brought him joy. Now as he sits in his favorite chair waiting and listening to the ticking of his life that was slowly coming to a end . The days of the warm sun and the birds that would awaken him on warm summer day were ending too. Those days that him and his wife were together sitting on the front porch watching the kids play in the grass and taking walks in the green grass was over too The memoir's that he held so dearly was all he had left of his life. His world was taken away when his wife feet left. Now his big Castle was no longer filled with joy it was just a house with walls and nothing else. A place that he would wait until the day the he too would not be able to walk this earth again. Let his feet leave the green grass that once gave him joy with picnics and beautiful walks with his beautiful wife. Their bare feet against the soft green grass gave them most the enjoyment, those days were over. He took one last puff of his old cigar and then he fell into deep sleep only to be awakened by his beautiful wife. The feeling of loneliness and sadness that once filled his heart was replaced with peace. They were together once again in life but his life was over as soon as they met again but that did not matter to him because he was happy to see her again. He hadn't seem her in so long and he missed the way her voice sounded and her ever glittering smiled that lite up the room. Now after all these years they were able walk in the soft green grass barefooted again. They walked hand and hand never again to let go of each other. They slowly descended in the peaceful sunset Every now and then ,when you look into the sky, you might see a castle in the clouds and wonder about their peaceful life of being together again and you will know their world is once again complete and happy. Nothing can come between true love not even death because he if you love someone you let them go when they need to go but never forget and when your day comes you can be together again like nothing ever changed and live a happy life and the old man and his wife lived in the castle in the sky forever and ever.

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Category Name: My Thoughts

I did not enjoy this story. I am not even sure what problem the protagonist faced. This story was okay. The story would have been better if the author had introduced the problem differently and made it feel more pressing. I really enjoyed this story. The author did a good job pulling me into the story by introducing an immediate and important problem for the protagonist.

This section is for overall comments and general ideas. The score should reflect how much you enjoyed the story.

Category Name: Character Development

The characters were not dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable or unique. I don’t care about or understand the characters because they were poorly developed. The characters were somewhat dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable and unique. I partially understood the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the characters. I somewhat connected with and care about the characters. The characters were very dynamic, credible, interesting, memorable and unique. I thoroughly understood their thoughts, feelings and actions. I felt connected with and cared about the characters.

This is act of bringing a character to life on the page. It is a combination of the author’s description of the character and the character’s dialog, action, and thoughts. Though all characters should be believable, the protagonist and antagonist are usually the most developed characters.

Category Name: Plot

I finished reading the story so the plot must have unfolded, but I am not sure what the plot was. The characters did not achieve or grow by solving the problems they faced in this story. There were definite wrinkles in the way the plot unfolded leading to the final conflict. The plot was loosely tied to the achievement and growth of the characters. The way the protagonist overcame some of the problems flowed unnaturally with the story. I could see the plot unfolding through a series of escalating problems that lead to the final conflict. The plot helped me understand the achievements and growth of the characters. The way the protagonist overcame the problems flowed naturally with the st

In fiction a plot is all the events in a story, particularly rendered towards the achievement of some particular artistic or emotional effect. In other words it's what mostly happened in the story. The plot draws the reader into the character's lives and helps the reader understand the choices that the characters make.

Category Name: Dialog

The dialog seemed like cold words on paper. I had a hard time following it. I didn’t learn very much about the characters through the dialog. Through the dialog I could sometimes see the characters learn and grow while occasionally discovering new facets of their personalities. The dialog was generally consistent with the character. Through the dialog I could see the characters learn and grow while simultaneously discovering new facets of their personalities. The dialog was true to the character and it helped me understand the characters emotions.

Category Name: Setting

The setting created a haze in my mind that detracted from the story. I am lost in time and space because I don’t know when or where this story takes place. The setting was described adequately, but not well enough to bring it to life in my mind. The setting did not add to or detract from the story. I am pretty sure I know when and where the story takes place. The author engaged all of my senses while vividly describing the setting. The setting helped me better understand the setting and plot. I know when and where this story takes place.

The setting is where a story takes place. The choice of setting and its description helps the story come alive in the mind of the reader. Appropriate setting contributes to the plot and mood of the story.

Category Name: Mechanics

The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the plot or understand certain sentences or paragraphs. Occasional mechanical errors were distracting, but these errors did not inhibit me from being able to understand the plot or connect with characters in the story. I rarely if ever noticed mechanical errors. As far as I could tell, the writing was clear and correct.

Mechanics includes sentence structure, verb agreement, grammar, spelling, voice, punctuation and aspects of basic style.

Note: The purpose of ReviewFuse reviews is NOT to provide comprehensive copy editing, but rather to "ignite creativity." Reviewers should not feel obliged to point out every grammar or spelling error (though they certainly can if they wish), but should focus on this area only to the degree that errors make a story hard to follow or understand.

Inline comments are the most helpful and important aspects of your review.

Click on a paragraph or highlight text from the paragraph to provide inline comments. While detailed grammar correction is welcome, the purpose of inline commenting is to spark the author's creativity. This is best done by expressing feelings, questions, and concerns you have about the story while you are reading.

1. A older man sitting in favorite chair smoking yesterdays cigar, thinking about his life. He takes another puff of his cigar making smoke rings above his head. He looks around at all the riches he has and thinks about the beauty that once filled his castle that he built for his wife. That was gone forever, nothing gave the older man greater joy and peace then sitting in his favorite chair thinking about his life with his family. His kids, now grown up with families of their own. The love of his life, no longer able to walk this earth with him. They looked at the way their father lived his life now, the way it used to be when their mom was still around. It did not bother him what his kids thought about him or how he should live his life, it was his life to live until he was able to reunited with his loving wife again. The older man works hard his whole life without ever regretting anything he strived for. He worked for his family, so they could be comfortable and happy, and have joy in their life like he did ever time he saw his beautiful wife and kids. The older man took another puff of his cigar, wondering about the times when he will no longer be around, what his kids and others people in his life will remember about him, will they remember his riches or his kindness, that he returned to the people that he knew or didn't know that they were in need. Sometimes life threw him things that he did not understand, why it needs to be this way In the end as the years went by he kept on working and learning and the more he thought the more his wisdom grew. He understood now in life, what was really important to him . It doesn't matter what he had in life, it matters more who you had in your life. The older man just stared at his wife's empty chair sitting next to him. He wished in the past that he knew this wisdom the older man's wife was the love of his life and he told her everyday until the day her feet left the the green grass forever. The days that he treasured most were days he spent with his wife even more now then ever before. The older man that once had everything in life that brought him joy. Now as he sits in his favorite chair waiting and listening to the ticking of his life that was slowly coming to a end . The days of the warm sun and the birds that would awaken him on warm summer day were ending too. Those days that him and his wife were together sitting on the front porch watching the kids play in the grass and taking walks in the green grass was over too The memoir's that he held so dearly was all he had left of his life. His world was taken away when his wife feet left. Now his big Castle was no longer filled with joy it was just a house with walls and nothing else. A place that he would wait until the day the he too would not be able to walk this earth again. Let his feet leave the green grass that once gave him joy with picnics and beautiful walks with his beautiful wife. Their bare feet against the soft green grass gave them most the enjoyment, those days were over. He took one last puff of his old cigar and then he fell into deep sleep only to be awakened by his beautiful wife. The feeling of loneliness and sadness that once filled his heart was replaced with peace. They were together once again in life but his life was over as soon as they met again but that did not matter to him because he was happy to see her again. He hadn't seem her in so long and he missed the way her voice sounded and her ever glittering smiled that lite up the room. Now after all these years they were able walk in the soft green grass barefooted again. They walked hand and hand never again to let go of each other. They slowly descended in the peaceful sunset Every now and then ,when you look into the sky, you might see a castle in the clouds and wonder about their peaceful life of being together again and you will know their world is once again complete and happy. Nothing can come between true love not even death because he if you love someone you let them go when they need to go but never forget and when your day comes you can be together again like nothing ever changed and live a happy life and the old man and his wife lived in the castle in the sky forever and ever.

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