"Justice of Nature - Chapters 1 and 2" by SwatFox
It's the first two chapters of a story I'm writing. I think it has too much dialogue and too little detail, personally, but what do you think?
Category: Book: 1st Chapter
Tags: Fantasy Adventure, Fiction, Magic, Magic Realism, Dialogue Heavy
Reviews that have been completed within the last 30 days
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pjwizz - May 13, 2012









(7 stars)
more »I love fantasy. I think this writer could be great if setting was explained.









(7 stars)
more »Character development was your strong suit.









(6 stars)
more »The scene needed to be set. If so the chapter would have been excellent









(4 stars)
more »Needs the setting. Will be great with setting.









(3 stars)
more »Not much









(10 stars)
more »Writer is strong in this subject
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hannabanana14 - Feb 04, 2012









(7 stars)
more »I do agree... There is way to much dialogue and personally I love details, so you defiantley need more! But the story itself was good. it had a good concept that was easy to keep up with and I enjoyed it.
P.S. It seemed the story itself was written through dialoge becasue almost every paragraph was dialogue. No paracgraphs that explained descriptions of places or character development through non-verbal communication.








(7 stars)
more »Again, the charcters were ok. But I only knew them through their dialogue. Not through you describing that their hair was short and blue or something like that.









(8 stars)
more »It was a good beginning, hooking, but could have used some details instead of right away dialogue.









(7 stars)
more »I knew kind of where it was, but more details about what the setting looked like, maybe smelled like would be better and make the story seem real.









(10 stars)
more »I rarely found ANY!









(8 stars)
more »The dialogue was the best. I mena I'm not a fan of dialogue. But it was flowy and realistic. Just cut it in hlaf or more. Becasue it over powers the story itself.