I asked my three year old son what he had done that day while we were driving home last night. He said “I went to the dinosaur museum with mommy.”

It was kind of silly to ask, but since he is three, I said “what did you see there?”

He said “really really big dinosaurs.”

I asked “where they nice or mean?”

He said “they were really really really scary daddy.”

For a three year old it was cute and effective to tell me about the dinosaurs, but for those trying to entertain readers or make a few bucks writing you have to learn how to show. You can learn more about show verses tell from our writing lessons.

Jacob

The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

The protagonist has to face insurmountable odds. Pressure needs to sneak in from different angles to test his skills and strengths before he saves the day. The pressure applied by the antagonist should bend, but never break, the hero. There should always be one, and only one, helpless person in the story, and that’s the reader.

Writing should be concise. Writing should generate meaning with the fewest words possible.

In school I was often given a minimum number of words for an assignment. I added fluff to hit the minimum and ruined my writing.

It’s difficult yet effective to be concise. Do you have it in you?

Jacob

Beginning your story in the right way is essential. Before you put pen to paper or finger to keyboard make sure you have:

1. A plot that interests you. If you don’t think your idea is the best one out there no one else with either.
2. Spent time inventing characters that you are passionate about.
3. Developed detailed character profile.
4. Written a detailed and believable storyline that is not predictable.
5. Start writing.

Openings need to be engaging from the first word. Don’t start by spewing background info all over your audience. Focus on exciting the reader and making them want more.

Start in the middle of a problem or in an unusual environment. The problem or environment should be part of that turning point for the main character and introduce the problem the protagonist has to solve. The hero’s life should change because during the opening scene.

The problem should contain a healthy dose of mystery or intrigue that kicks the readers’ brain into puzzle solving mode. People love trying to puzzles out what’s going to happen next so provide clues about the coming conflict that engage their mind.

Do you want to know if your story has a good start? Join our writing group and let us critique your work.

Jacob

The famed Jedi Master Yoda taught a powerful lesson about writing good sentences when he said “Do or do not, there is no try.” I have found five ways to not write a decent sentence.

1. Slow starting sentences delay getting to the point by sticking an “it is” or a “there are” in the way. Why would you ever write or say “It would be appreciated if you could pass the yams,” when you can clearly and concisely write “Please pass the yams.”
2. Cramped sentences are formed when writers connect a series of related sentences instead of just ending with a period. Shorten cramped sentences by focusing on one subject.
3. Overloaded sentences are riddled with excess words. Passive voice or redundancy is almost always the culprit. Be concise.
4. Pompous sentences are filled with big words and trite expressions. Take time to prove how smart you are by selecting a well-chosen verb rather than a clause.
5. Run-on sentences drag on and on, packing an entire paragraph of detail into one sentence. Short sentences are easier to understand than long ones. Readers prefer to chew on bits and pieces of information instead of an entire cow. Varying sentence length will make your writing more interesting to read. The best authors us long and short sentences.

Jacob

There were a few common mistakes made in several of the poems submitted to the March 2009 Poetry Contest. Those entering the April 2009 Poetry Contest should take the following suggestions under advisement. These suggestions were derived from insights Lance Larsen*, a creative writing professor at Brigham Young University, shared with me.

• Chopping up prose does not create poetry.
• A poem should make or have a point. Yes, there is a layer of abstraction, but a poem should not be so abstract that is means nothing.
• Poetry should have tension and opposition.
• Make arguments through imagery and metaphors.
• Use fresh language and avoid clichés.
• Be concise. Poems should be composed with the fewest words possible.
• Use concrete examples that entice and elicit the senses.
• Link form and content in appropriate ways in both closed form and open form poems: rhyme, meter, stanza pattern, enjambed vs. end-stopped lines, alliteration, assonance, caesura, juxtaposition, syntax, diction, and other figurative patterns.

Jacob

*Lance Larsen received a Ph.D. Literature and Creative Writing from the University of Houston. He has taught creative writing and poetry courses at Brigham Young University since 1993.

Readers are fickle friends who often act like the urchins who draw a mustache on a picture of a pretty model or add horns to a photo of the Pope as they interpret our metaphors literally or try to extrapolate deep meaning from a simple fact. W. H. Auden described the author/reader relationship a bit more eloquently, “In relation to a writer, most readers believe in the Double Standard: they may be unfaithful to him as often as they like, but he must never, never be unfaithful to them.”

How can we hope to gain faithfulness from such an unpredictable audience?

Keep the audience guessing. Rarely, if ever, let the reader guess the right answer. Plan a story with sharp turns your audience never sees coming. Let your readers speculate about what will happen but don’t allow them to be right. During the climax, when your reader is certain he “knows” what is going to happen, end with a twist that both surprises the reader and feels natural. If you can get your audience to say “Wow, I didn’t expect that, but it makes perfect sense” then you will turn their whorish ways into faithfulness.

Jacob

by H. B. Moore

Are you stuck on that first chapter? Even when you’ve finished your first draft, do you keep coming back to it, rewriting, editing, then rewriting again? First pages and first chapters are what an agent or editor will read first. If they aren’t drawn in by the first few lines or paragraphs, you’ve given them a reason to set your submission aside.

Consider these solutions:

1. Perhaps your first chapter isn’t the first chapter.

Maybe your story really begins somewhere in chapter 2 or 3. Have someone read through the first 50 pages of your manuscript and ask them to tell you where they think your book really begins.

2. You may have overwritten the first chapter.

Have you tried to cram too many details, unnecessary back story, or become lopsided with too much internal dialogue? Continue writing the rest of the story, then come back to the first chapter after a few weeks or months, and you’ll have a fresh perspective.

3. Does your first chapter have a hook in the first sentences/paragraph?

Start in the middle of a scene—right where the character’s life is about to change. If you start with external dialogue (what the character says) or internal dialogue (what the character is thinking), it needs to be unique, compelling, even surprising. Internal dialogue is usually considered stronger than external.

4. Visit a bookstore or library.

Select ten books by well-known authors. Read the first page of each book. Out of the ten, which first page makes you want to continue reading? Why? Put yourself in an agent or editor’s place. They go through the same process.

5. Don’t be afraid to cut and rewrite.

Some authors save multiple versions of chapters or scenes they’ve either cut or significantly rewritten. That way, you aren’t grieving the loss of throwing something away you spent a lot of time and thought on. Read the first chapter, then open a blank document. Start writing the beginning again, taking a different angle. Maybe instead of external dialogue you start with action. Maybe instead of description, you start with internal dialogue.

6. Realize that the first chapter sets the precedent for the entire book.

If you find yourself saying, “But it gets really good on page 45,” you need to take a second look. And remember if you are writing non-fiction, the introduction needs to have a compelling hook, as well as the first pages of chapter one.

No pressure. Just make sure it’s perfect!

H. B. Moore is a 2007 Whitney Award winner, the author of five historical novels, and the owner of Precision Editing Group. Visit her blog here.

by Annette Lyon

A recent discussion among some writer friends had some asking the question: “Is WAS a bad word?”

The talk had a lot of writers developing WAS-phobia, because face it, sometimes WAS is bad to use in writing. But why? And how can you get rid of it?

The answers are pretty simple. Using WAS isn’t always a bad thing, but often it is, because there’s generally a better (READ: STRONGER) way of saying what you’re trying to say.

Here’s some simple guidelines:

1. Find a case of “was” and chances are you just found a case of “tell” instead of “show.”

For example: Emily was embarrassed.

Pull out “was” and replace it with vivid details: Emily’s flushed cheeks, her desire for the ground to open up beneath her and swallow her up. Now the reader knows she’s embarrassed, because you just showed it. Search for instances of whenever your character WAS something, and give showing details in its place.

2. Yank WAS 90% of the time when it’s connected to an ING verb.

For example: He was sitting. He was talking. He was writing.

Just say: He sat. He talked. He wrote. Generally speaking, the plain old past tense is more effective. It’s a punchier, stronger verb form.

Sometimes you can find an even stronger verb altogether. Instead of walked, how about stormed, strode, or sauntered?

Once I did a search for “was” in a manuscript (most word processors can do this quite easily) and challenged myself to have no more than one “was” per page. This required me to find strong verbs. I amazed myself at the creative verbs I came up with!

3. Passive voice.

Passive voice happens when things are acted upon instead of doing the acting themselves. But stories and conflict are most exciting when your characters are the ones who act, so bag the passive voice whenever possible.

Example: The boy was bitten by the dog.

Instead, say: The dog bit the boy.

Make it direct. Passive voice adds words to sentences, and fewer words makes a tighter story anyway. Even better, show the dog biting the boy in a scene. Give us action and conflict!

If your WAS fits another category than any of the three above, it might be just fine. Don’t panic; you can keep it. But when in doubt about a stray WAS, try to get rid of it. There’s a good chance you can find a way to notch up your verbs and make your sentence stronger.

Annette Lyon is Utah’s 2007 Best of State medalist for fiction and 2007 Whitney Award finalist. Her sixth novel, Tower of Strength, will be released March 2009. She edits for Precision Editing Group and blogs at The Lyon’s Tale.